How To Make A Man Feel Fantastic

So the biggest reaction we get from women when we start to talk about how to make a man feel fantastic is that they say, 'Why should I, when he doesn't do it for me?'

You see, thats the problem with the way the world has gone in terms of intimate relationships. We have so got into the practicalities of dating or marriage or living together that we have forgotten about romance and meeting each others needs.

I spoke to a woman last night who phoned for advice as to whether she should quit her job that takes her away from home a lot. You see the problem is that actually she felt that her relationship was better because she was away. It was more 'practical'. It meant they could manage their finances, kids, house chores etc in a way that met both their needs. So why was she really ringing? Because there is no passion or romance in her relationship.

Just like the single woman who suggested to her date the easiest place for them to meet which was more 'practical' for them both, transport wise. Even before the date she was telling me that she would have much preferred for him to have come to pick her up. No good reason, it just would have felt better. She would have felt more cherished and feminine. So is it any wonder that he then asked her for half the money to pay in the restaurant. How far away from romance has this date got?

You see girls, if you make practical decisions you will create a relationship that is built on that. So romance will be nil.

So I hear you ask what do we do?

Ok, men are simple creatures they just want you to acknowledge what they do great. So example, our single girl, how would it have been different if when she met him before he asked her out that she had asked him questions about his life and that she had told him what she admired about him?

Could it be that because he felt fantastic hearing her say that that he starts to think about how he could make this woman happy? Is it possible he could have thought...I wonder if she would love to be picked up and looked after by me on a date and how good would it feel to treat her to a fabulous meal somewhere special...

Do you see where I'm coming from girls?

And it is no different whether this is your first date or you've been married 35 years.

So, first thing is to acknowledge everything he does great. This is everything from handling the landlord/mortgage problem/restaurant booking to changing a light bulb. It could be overcoming a problem at work/having an inspired plan or saying something nice about your mother.

And watch it work every time! And guess what? That is when his whole focus will go towards romancing you.

Then you can add in his individual needs. This could be watching Top Gear with him without talking or giving him a long foot massage. Or it could be asking him how you could help him to prepare for an important business meeting. The important point here is NOT to make the decisions of what he needs for him. Always, always ask him what he wants! And then leave him to decide.

And if you are a fast pace woman you may need to practise a little patience! We call it leaving the gap. If you are really struggling, waiting for his decision, use my questions (to yourself):

'Is this a life or death situation?! Am I willing to forego passion and romance in my relationship just because I want to know now what is going to happen in the future? Could I live with the prospect of this not happening at all?

Of course it is never a life or death situation, it is always going to be about your habit of leading in this relationship. So all that has to happen is for you to kick that habit. And what will happen if you don't? My guess, more disconnection and no romance.

So girls, do let me know how this all works for you. Oh, and have a look at your beliefs. Are you imagining that this will work for everybody else except you, because your man is a lost cause. How is that belief helping?! Have a positive expectation.. trust the future... its feminine to do that.

Lots of love, Nicki x