How To Make A Man Feel Fantastic

So the biggest reaction we get from women when we start to talk about how to make a man feel fantastic is that they say, 'Why should I, when he doesn't do it for me?'

You see, thats the problem with the way the world has gone in terms of intimate relationships. We have so got into the practicalities of dating or marriage or living together that we have forgotten about romance and meeting each others needs.

I spoke to a woman last night who phoned for advice as to whether she should quit her job that takes her away from home a lot. You see the problem is that actually she felt that her relationship was better because she was away. It was more 'practical'. It meant they could manage their finances, kids, house chores etc in a way that met both their needs. So why was she really ringing? Because there is no passion or romance in her relationship.

Just like the single woman who suggested to her date the easiest place for them to meet which was more 'practical' for them both, transport wise. Even before the date she was telling me that she would have much preferred for him to have come to pick her up. No good reason, it just would have felt better. She would have felt more cherished and feminine. So is it any wonder that he then asked her for half the money to pay in the restaurant. How far away from romance has this date got?

You see girls, if you make practical decisions you will create a relationship that is built on that. So romance will be nil.

So I hear you ask what do we do?

Ok, men are simple creatures they just want you to acknowledge what they do great. So example, our single girl, how would it have been different if when she met him before he asked her out that she had asked him questions about his life and that she had told him what she admired about him?

Could it be that because he felt fantastic hearing her say that that he starts to think about how he could make this woman happy? Is it possible he could have thought...I wonder if she would love to be picked up and looked after by me on a date and how good would it feel to treat her to a fabulous meal somewhere special...

Do you see where I'm coming from girls?

And it is no different whether this is your first date or you've been married 35 years.

So, first thing is to acknowledge everything he does great. This is everything from handling the landlord/mortgage problem/restaurant booking to changing a light bulb. It could be overcoming a problem at work/having an inspired plan or saying something nice about your mother.

And watch it work every time! And guess what? That is when his whole focus will go towards romancing you.

Then you can add in his individual needs. This could be watching Top Gear with him without talking or giving him a long foot massage. Or it could be asking him how you could help him to prepare for an important business meeting. The important point here is NOT to make the decisions of what he needs for him. Always, always ask him what he wants! And then leave him to decide.

And if you are a fast pace woman you may need to practise a little patience! We call it leaving the gap. If you are really struggling, waiting for his decision, use my questions (to yourself):

'Is this a life or death situation?! Am I willing to forego passion and romance in my relationship just because I want to know now what is going to happen in the future? Could I live with the prospect of this not happening at all?

Of course it is never a life or death situation, it is always going to be about your habit of leading in this relationship. So all that has to happen is for you to kick that habit. And what will happen if you don't? My guess, more disconnection and no romance.

So girls, do let me know how this all works for you. Oh, and have a look at your beliefs. Are you imagining that this will work for everybody else except you, because your man is a lost cause. How is that belief helping?! Have a positive expectation.. trust the future... its feminine to do that.

Lots of love, Nicki x

How To Romance A Woman

The biggest thing men say when they are desperately trying to make intimate relationships work is, 'How Do I Make A Woman Happy?!'

They say,'I've tried everything; What do they really want?!'

Well, here's the answer guys and it may surprise you...

1.They want you to take charge.

2.They want you to make the decisions.

3.They want you to know what a woman wants at her core.

4.They want you to know their individual needs.

So what has this got to do with ROMANCE?

Everything...

1. & 2.
So the first 2 are easy, take charge and make decisions, we've been saying that to you practically every week and we don't have to remind you what happens if you don't do we? Ok, yes what happens is woman plays up in her own unique way. That may be taking control herself, moaning, telling you what to do, or running her addictions whatever those are, etc etc...

3.
Ok, so the next biggy, what does she really want, ok lets keep it real simple, to feel safe and secure, looked after and cherished. This can be anything from walking road side on the pavement to dealing with an angry landlord. If you want your woman to be feminine and vunerable you need to protect her from the 'dragons' as we would say. And cherished, what does that look like? If you're in a relationship do the man's stuff, handle the house, garden and car maintenance, decide when you're going on that trip, solve the kids issues at school, create a fantastic surprise for her. If you're single, tell her where you're taking her and what time you're picking her up, make sure she's warm enough, take her a gift that you know she loves and you hold the tickets!

4.
And finally, find out what her individual needs are. This is as simple as remembering what film she wanted to see and what her interests are. Does she talk about art, football or fashion? All women love a surprise, even if she hates the food she is so much happier that you chose the restaurant rather than asking her to book it. All women love chocolate, flowers, cards and pretty things for their home! And if she says she doesn't, she's either lying or you have done such a shit job of looking after this woman that she's testing the hell out of you! And, if you give into it you've failed the test. The solution is to go back to point 1 & 2, take charge and make the decisions, it will always work if you do it with enough certainty about you.

Thats it, how to romance a woman. Sound like hard work guys? Well yes it requires some effort but the rewards are incredible.

Imagine spending the evening or life with a happy woman who looks up to you, shares her love with you and is looking to find out what makes you feel fantastic.

So girls, for How To Make A Man Feel Fantastic - see next weeks TNTV & Blog.

Need more information, education and solutions on this or any intimate relationship issue? go to http://www.intimaterealtionships.tv/

Love, Nicki Vee x

Intimate Stuff - When Do We Sleep Together?

When Do We Sleep Together?

Once you have decided that this is the kind of person you might want to share your life with.

"What??!! Surely that's from the ark ages, we need to know if sex is good before committing!"

So let me explain why Tony and I have come to the conclusion that you need to wait, you need to get to know how each other live, you need to understand what each others patterns and behaviours are, and also what you both want.

You see, Tony and I have seen so much pain in intimate relationships because couples have 'got intimate' before they really know each other.

It throws a complete spanner in the works.

It means that you are physically as close as you can be with someone you don't know.

But thats not the big problem!

Oh god what??!!

Men and women view having sex differently.

Men, according to Tony, unless they are very evolved in which case they would definitely wait, are driven by when they can have that great feeling again. The feeling of an orgasm.

Women, and some of us lie about this, are thinking about the long term relationship, marriage, babies, houses etc etc....

A bit of a difference - Yes?

So our infamous saying is 'wait six weeks' or 'see someone 20 times'. We know that sounds old fashioned but think about it, how well has sleeping together quickly worked for you in the past?

How would it be if this time waiting works and you experience intimacy like never before....

For all your intimate relationship issues to be resolved once and for all why not consider our 5 Day Immersion in Austria? Or If you want to meet us first and start the process we are in London once a month.

Love, Nicki x

P.S. comments or questions email me on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Relationship Advice: How Do I Know If He/She Is Right For Me?

How Do I Know If He/She Is Right For Me?

That's the question we get asked most often by Single Men & Women.

So here is the Top 3, short and best answers!

1. Firstly, stop judging people by their looks. The difficulty with just looking at whether this person is 'your type', fanciable or hot is that 'looks' alone will never tell you whether you are in the same energy, whether you are compatible, share the same values and outcomes in life and above all whether you are able to meet each others core and individual needs. So as Tony says, 'stop judging and get in the pool'.

2. Get in the pool - spend time with people that you are drawn to for other reasons than looks. This could be someone who is just in great energy, or someone who has a fabulous outlook on life or someone who shares the same interests as you. Getting in the pool will give you the opportunity to get to know a person and to get a very clear understanding as to whether you can get on really well, whether you have the same or similiar desires in life and whether you can both really be 'yourselves'. You see if you have a mask on, trying to be someone you're not, then you will be most likely have a relationship with his/her mask too.

3. Spend at least 20 times together before getting intimate! You may think this is a very old fashioned piece of advice BUT we have seen so many people get intimate before they really know each other and then they find it hard to continue the 'getting to know each other' process. Getting to know each other must incorporate spending time together in your natural environments, time with others around, maybe even in stressful situations. These times will give you an insight into who this person really is. Is he/she different with family or friends? Does he/she take great care of their home environment? How does he/she deal with unexpected stressful situations? We always say, see how he/she lives his/her life without you so that you can tell how easily and smoothly your lives could fit together. It is pretty impossible to be non - attached to whether this will happen or not if you have been intimate hence why we advise you to have time together without the hormones jumping around!

So that is our 1-2-3 of how to know if this is the right person for you.

Watch next week for more about when is the best time to sleep together...

Any questions? Email us on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Nicki Vee x

Relationship Advice: A Nightmare - The On/Off Relationship

The interesting thing about past relationships is that we often reflect back on them and say to ourselves - what if?

What if I'd have known then what I know now.

What if he/she had been truly available to have a full on relationship with me.

What if she/he or I had got over that trauma/addiction/fear/problem - might it of actually worked out?

What if we had been living nearer to each other? had enough money? hadn't got the kids?

Well of course for many the answer is you'll never know. We can only tell you that our observation is that 'more than the issue' has to be right for it to work. In Tony and Nicki speak, 'both parties have to be at least aware if not free of their old habits and patterns and living in their core masculine/feminine energy for a relationship to stand a chance.'

But what of the people that go back, often time and time again, to the same relationship to try and make it work?

If this is you, you may be aware of the reasons but what we notice is that most people do that, go back, because of this:

• One or both parties don't believe that they can have a relationship that is better than, more healthy than, one that they have had in the past. They don't feel good enough to live alone needing a relationship to feel complete and so take the easy route and return to a past relationship believing that this time it might work out. These people most often stay in a lot of what we call 'intimate connection' with their former partner so that they feel that they have 'somebody to talk to'. This intimate connection is often telling this person your intimate thoughts but not having sex. This feeds the leaver's guilt complex and sadly, the one who has been left, gets mixed messages and the crumbs of a relationship.
• Another reason is that the leaver thinks that he or she can help the partner to 'get better'. This is an arrogance and feeds the passive needs of the victim who has been left. They confuse caring or fixing for attraction and committment.
• The one who is left behaves in a different way whilst separated and promises that they will behave like this, consistently, if only their partner will give them a chance. Sadly the relationship is often the very thing that triggers the old behaviour and so quickily you are back where you were. Any dysfunctional behaviour is best dealt with outside of a relationship, however if you put yourself first you could change your habits and most importantly, get dramatically different results, within a relationship, as long as your partner is willing to see how they contributed to its demise.

So in summary, be realistic when you consider returning to a relationship that wasn't working and that caused you pain.

Get very aware as to what you did that caused it to 'not work' and be careful about what communication you have with your ex. Be honest, is it, 'just what needs to happen' or are you attempting to 'stay close' to meet your own needs?

Only you know the truth.

For more on this and other decisions about intimacy go now to http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/

Tony and I are here to help you now, Nicki Vee x

To View This Weeks Video Go To One Of Tony & Nicki's Channels : YouTube, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Break, DailyMotion, Blip.tv, Veoh, Crackle, Imeem and Howcast

Relationship Advice : Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

In the words of the song....Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?

Here is a very common dilemma for both men and women...

The reason it is very common is that we (men and women) find it difficult to make this decision.

We have committed or semi committed to another person and now we are not sure. It isn't how it was in the beginning and now we are disconnected, not attracted to each other and often having disagreements.

So what do you do?

Well firstly you have to look at how you're behaviour has caused this relationship to deteriorate.
Then you have to stop finding the other person at fault. Then you have to speak your absolute truth.

This truth is not what you feel about him/her or what he/she has done that you can't tolerate.
It is what's been going on for you. What you have been thinking and how you have been behaving.

Because here's the truth, when we start to be disconnected from our partner and we stop being attracted to them we often start to behave differently in order to meet our own needs.

So if you are the person wanting to go you must look at what you have been doing that has caused this relationship to fail and for the intimacy to be lost.

If you are the person who is being 'left' you too must decide what you have done to drive your partner away.

The extra special magical thing that can happen when this level of truth is spoken is that the old connection can come back. It may not be enough to save the relationship but it will definitely make splitting up easier and who knows you might re-ignite the spark.

Also if you don't learn what has gone wrong in this relationship it is pretty odds on that you will repeat this unconscious behaviour and get the same result next time. Something to seriously think about...

For much, much more on this go to http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/ and join our Home Study Course. This month's video and exercises are all about this subject and how to make the decision should I stay or should I go now.

To Watch the vidoe 'Shall I Stay Or Shall I Go - go to any of Tony & Nicki's Video Channels : YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, Break, DailyMotion, Blip.tv, Veoh, Crackle, Imeem, Viddler and Howcast

Nicki Vee x

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