Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker

This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.

This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.

This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.

So what is this information that is so crucial?

Over the next 4 Blogs (and on our next 4 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a plonker' or a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' or a woman is 'a princess'.

So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving 'like a plonker'.

Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, maybe I am one or women thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.

1. A Plonker does not have his own life together.

Guys if this is you, get a plan, get some help, stop trying to please everyone else and above all be good with what you want to do and when. This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled for you is something she can look up to and sign up to.

Girls, if a man does not have his own life together, leave him alone to sort it out! So many women take men on as a project, give him advice, take care of him, protect him from problems or nag him to death about it. This is the worst thing you can do. If you're single this is not the man for you, if you're attached leave him to it and get on with your own life (acting like a princess of course)

2. A Plonker asks women for help.

Guys if this you, stop it! If you really need help go to an expert or someone else, just not another plonker! You see asking a woman puts you in a slightly inferior position. You might ask, what's wrong with that? Well the answer is everything, and I don't mean you have to be superior either, but if you want to be intimate with this woman you have to understand that woman are looking for a man who is strong and resourceful and can handle problems. Asking her for help makes her feel like you need her and thats not healthy. It feels to her like you need mothering, and you don't want that do you?

Girls, if he keeps asking you for help stop responding! He will soon realise that you are not going to give it to him and either he will 'step up' or not. Again if you're single this is not the man for you and if you're attached stop responding to his questions. A great answer is, 'you'll know what to do' or 'you are so good at that kind of thing'. Oh and don't fall into the trap of making allowances if you are more expert at something than him. Let him find someone else to help him or you may find yourself at best 'good friends' and at worst, like a couple who were close to divorce said, 'two people sharing a house who argue a lot and never make love!'

3. A Plonker worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.

Guys if this is you firstly you might want to look at the results you're getting. Seriously, and this may sound like airy fairy nonsense, the way you think will have a direct affect on your results. Secondly, notice your own language. If you are using tonality that sounds stressed and language that normally starts with, 'the problem is' or 'isn't it awful that' or 'nothing ever seems to go the way I want it' or anything like those phrases know that you are likely to firstly get poor results and secondly you are likely to attract or stay with a woman who does the same. So as the Americans say, 'go figure' - you may want to make some fast changes.

Girls, if he looks and sounds worried, stressed and what we would call 'not in a good place' don't make it worse! What do I mean? Well our biggest habit is to try and fix him by either going into the more 'masculine' role of 'giving logical advice' or 'helping him by being really focused' or even worse, 'taking the problem off him' or by mothering him. Mothering looks like making him comfortable, cooking him his favourite meal, and saying 'poor thing'! Either is a recipe for him staying down as your behaviour makes him feel even worse about himself. Single? - this is a very bad sign, so not for you. Attached? leave him alone and give him space - don't re-enforce it unless you want this behaviour for the rest of your life.

4. A Plonker acts macho or feminine.

Guys, any form of verbal or physical aggression is not cool and it frightens women. Whether you do it directly at her or at someone else or at life it shows you to be an angry man who is out of control and actually full of fear. Get some help, talk to my amazing husband, in confidence, book some time with him now. The opposite of course is that you act feminine. This normally shows up as softly spoken and very meek and mild, allowing the world to dictate your actions and things 'happen to you'. In NLP terms you are at 'effect' not 'cause'. Best course of action is to really learn what healthy masculine behaviour looks like and know that that will get you success in life and with women. A great book for you will be 'Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida.

Girls, if you are with or attracted to a macho man, we need to talk. Hey, I have no judgement, as I did this for near on 20 years. Look these men have problems that you cannot fix and so the worst thing you can do is accept this behaviour or try and fight it. Please contact me, I promise I can help, and in the meantime try telling him the truth, but hold on, not from your anger or by being passive or a victim, this will have definitely evoked more macho behaviour in the past. Its classic victim/aggressor, co-dependant behaviour. A must read for you is 'Women Who Love Too Much' by Robyn Norwood. My first book ever, changed my life.

And girls if you are considering a relationship with a feminine man, know that you will always be taking the lead, know that you will not be having your feminine core needs met. So its again a no no. If you are in a relationship with a man who is behaving in a way that we might describe as 'feminine' there is only one solution. You must stop being masculine/mothering with him, that looks like taking charge, organising everything, making plans, making the decisions, often its also handling the money for you both. You need to learn to 'leave the gap'. That means if its not done or arranged you do nothing. My quick tip for handling this, and it can be a bit difficult at first, is to ask yourself - whats the worst that can happen? or - is this a life or death situation? it so rarely is of course so you can just leave it to him. He will start doing things, you'll be amazed, and notice how he grows in stature with his newly acquired power. Book for you - 'Surrendered Wife' by Laura Doyle. Don't be put off by the title its actually very good practical advice.

5. A Plonker has addictions.

Guys, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to or drawn regularly to alcohol or smoking or food or drugs (illegal, prescription or off the shelf) or sex? If so this is not the kind of behaviour that a healthy woman is drawn to. It feels to her as if you 'need things outside of yourself to get by'. Now I don't mean the odd pint, glass of wine or aspirin but if you are a smoker or a regular binge drinker or you take packets of tablets or you have a penchant for a lot of porn this is very likely to get you into a relationship or living long term with a woman who does the same. This means that both of you will be drawn to things other than each other and that will lead to massive disconnection, rows and very possibly infidelity. Both of you will be searching outside of your relationship for fulfilment and that's never going to give you what you really want.

Girls if he has addictions you might want to consider whether this is the relationship for you. The difficulty with addictions is that whilst they are easy to justify, for example so many people say, well a few drinks relaxes you or the more sex you have the better, it never seems to work out like that in real life. Your life will be affected by his addictions. They will anesthetise him to you, and more importantly to the truth. He might avoid difficult situations and avoid real intimacy. If you are intent on staying then you could let him know how you feel and then make sure you do not tell him to stop. Acknowledge what he does do that you love and you could be surprised, that may make him feel so good that he decides to stop whatever he is addicted too. The key here is that he decides, that is the only thing that will work long term.

So there we have it, Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker.

Trust that has been useful for both men and women.

If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.

Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!

Please see our video's on any of the following :- YouTube, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast

Speak soon,

Nicki Vee x