What might your life be like if you had better internal communications with you?
Could this be when your relationship becomes exactly how you would love it to be?
Just a few Empowering Questions from Nicki Vee x
How is this perfect?
What's the learning here?
Is this decision taking me nearer or further away from my vision/dream?
How would it be if I could?
What's great about this?
What is it that I don't know?
What needs to happen for me to... ?
What would I have to believe to feel this way?
My hallucination is that the best way forward is...
How specifically do I want this to be, look, go?
How is this, (behaviour, person, situation) a mirror of me?
Am I making this better or worse than it really is?
What's the truth?
What's really going on here?
Could it be that this is the way it's meant to be?
What meaning am I attaching to this?
What could this mean?
What would love do?
How is this meeting my needs?
What am I getting from staying in this situation?
What is the emotional reason why this physical thing has happened?
What am I grateful for?
If I did the opposite what could happen?
What 3 major ways is this going to permanently f..k up my life?!
Do let me know what effect these questions have on your state, life and of course specifically your intimate relationships!
Nicki Vee x
Your Blog Coach
P.S. Last question I promise, what crappy question are you constantly and persistently asking yourself? Mine was, Why don't things happen for me? Can you imagine what results that got me?!
www.tonyandnickivee.com
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Sunday, 20 July 2008
Sex Chat - #3 - How To Spot A Knight In Shining Armor
This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.
This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.
This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.
So what is this information that is so crucial?
Over the next 2 Blogs (and on our next 2 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a knight in shining armor' or a woman is 'a princess'.
So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving like 'a knight in shining armor'.
Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, what if I am not one or women thinking, what if I'm not with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.
1. A knight in shining armor has his own life together.... This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled is something she can look up to, respect and sign up for. A knight in shining armor doesn't do the 'plonker' things like ask women for help and he totally understands that she is looking for a man who is strong, resourceful and can handle any problem.
Girls, if you're single and you notice this behaviour - this is a fantastic sign! If you're attached - good choice!
2. A knight in shining armor is confident, calm and he gets on with people... This is an almost intangible quality that great men have and the good news guys is that it can be learnt! All that you need to do is get addicted to getting out of stress without getting obsessive and find a way to get in rapport with everyone, even your mother! A woman will absolutely love being with you as you have no stress or disconnection in your life and she really wants to live like that.
Girls, easy to spot - and please no 'he's got potential' excuses, he's either living like this or not! If you live with a man like this don't forget to acknowledge him like mad!
3. A knight in shining armor compliments and cherishes women. He will take a woman's needs into consideration at all times and treat her like a princess. He takes the lead and he understands that women want to be 'looked after' and protected. He compliments her on how she looks and how she interacts with others. He gets what women really want and then 'like a detective' he finds out what her individual needs are!
Girls, if he remembers that you love Chinese food or The Sound of Music just from one conversation this is a man who is comfortable in himself and so 'available' to look after you.
4. A knight in shining armor knows how to 'love a woman'. Ok this is a bit more subtle. A knight in shining armor is not on the lookout for sex he is interested in finding his princess to share his life with. So this will look like 'taking his time' to get to know a woman, deciding if she is the right one and then asking her to be with him. If he is in a relationship he will make special time for her and he will know how to make love to her fully. He gives her the certainty inside and outside the bedroom that he knows she loves and creates a life/or date that princesses dream of.
Girls, you know whether a man is just wanting sex or he actually wants to be with you/stay with you. If he is not showing up in the way described I have to ask you the question - why would you want to be with this man?
5. A knight in shining armor has no addictions. He is happy to mostly eat and drink healthily, he doesn't get ill often so does not depend on any drugs and he has no private sexual habits. This is normally fairly obvious from his behaviour and language. He understands that addiction is a 'lack of self control'. Even an addiction to work, sport or exercise is not good for women! A knight in shining armor has no problem spending time alone and so he is unlikely to have one of those relationship hopping histories. He doesn't move from one woman to another with no gap and he has acquired massive awareness about mans tendency to look outside his relationships for intimacy.
Trust that has been useful for both men and women.
If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.
Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!
Speak soon,
Nicki Vee x
This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.
This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.
So what is this information that is so crucial?
Over the next 2 Blogs (and on our next 2 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a knight in shining armor' or a woman is 'a princess'.
So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving like 'a knight in shining armor'.
Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, what if I am not one or women thinking, what if I'm not with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.
1. A knight in shining armor has his own life together.... This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled is something she can look up to, respect and sign up for. A knight in shining armor doesn't do the 'plonker' things like ask women for help and he totally understands that she is looking for a man who is strong, resourceful and can handle any problem.
Girls, if you're single and you notice this behaviour - this is a fantastic sign! If you're attached - good choice!
2. A knight in shining armor is confident, calm and he gets on with people... This is an almost intangible quality that great men have and the good news guys is that it can be learnt! All that you need to do is get addicted to getting out of stress without getting obsessive and find a way to get in rapport with everyone, even your mother! A woman will absolutely love being with you as you have no stress or disconnection in your life and she really wants to live like that.
Girls, easy to spot - and please no 'he's got potential' excuses, he's either living like this or not! If you live with a man like this don't forget to acknowledge him like mad!
3. A knight in shining armor compliments and cherishes women. He will take a woman's needs into consideration at all times and treat her like a princess. He takes the lead and he understands that women want to be 'looked after' and protected. He compliments her on how she looks and how she interacts with others. He gets what women really want and then 'like a detective' he finds out what her individual needs are!
Girls, if he remembers that you love Chinese food or The Sound of Music just from one conversation this is a man who is comfortable in himself and so 'available' to look after you.
4. A knight in shining armor knows how to 'love a woman'. Ok this is a bit more subtle. A knight in shining armor is not on the lookout for sex he is interested in finding his princess to share his life with. So this will look like 'taking his time' to get to know a woman, deciding if she is the right one and then asking her to be with him. If he is in a relationship he will make special time for her and he will know how to make love to her fully. He gives her the certainty inside and outside the bedroom that he knows she loves and creates a life/or date that princesses dream of.
Girls, you know whether a man is just wanting sex or he actually wants to be with you/stay with you. If he is not showing up in the way described I have to ask you the question - why would you want to be with this man?
5. A knight in shining armor has no addictions. He is happy to mostly eat and drink healthily, he doesn't get ill often so does not depend on any drugs and he has no private sexual habits. This is normally fairly obvious from his behaviour and language. He understands that addiction is a 'lack of self control'. Even an addiction to work, sport or exercise is not good for women! A knight in shining armor has no problem spending time alone and so he is unlikely to have one of those relationship hopping histories. He doesn't move from one woman to another with no gap and he has acquired massive awareness about mans tendency to look outside his relationships for intimacy.
Trust that has been useful for both men and women.
If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.
Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!
Speak soon,
Nicki Vee x
Saturday, 19 July 2008
How to Attract a Fabulous Woman
If, as a man, you feel that you're not getting the attention you want from women or you’re not getting the attention you want from the right kind of women...here's what you need to do..
You may be surprised by this!
So here are the top 3 things all women are looking for in a man...these will turn her head towards you… you just have to get close enough…
· Get your own life sorted... she wants to look up to you, respect you, feel safe around you...when we tell women how to select a man we say look at how he leads his life... so if your life isn’t great do something now!
· Compliment her! On her appearance, her personality, her friendships, her wacky artifacts but never ever compliment her on her achievements unless you want her to focus on them 24/7
· Take the lead at all times... this means book the restaurant, be the driver, help her with her problems, get her a cab… and don’t ask her for help!
I guarantee if you do this she will be blown away by your masculinity and she will be drawn to be around you...
Tony Vee
Check out the 7 Big Mistakes on www.tonyandnickivee.com
You may be surprised by this!
So here are the top 3 things all women are looking for in a man...these will turn her head towards you… you just have to get close enough…
· Get your own life sorted... she wants to look up to you, respect you, feel safe around you...when we tell women how to select a man we say look at how he leads his life... so if your life isn’t great do something now!
· Compliment her! On her appearance, her personality, her friendships, her wacky artifacts but never ever compliment her on her achievements unless you want her to focus on them 24/7
· Take the lead at all times... this means book the restaurant, be the driver, help her with her problems, get her a cab… and don’t ask her for help!
I guarantee if you do this she will be blown away by your masculinity and she will be drawn to be around you...
Tony Vee
Check out the 7 Big Mistakes on www.tonyandnickivee.com
How to Attract an Amazing Man
If, as a woman, you feel that you're not getting the attention you want from men or you’re not getting the attention you want from the right kind of men...here's what you need to do..
You may be surprised by this!
So here are the top 3 things all men are looking for in a woman...these will turn his head towards you… you just have to get close enough…
· Acknowledge him for how he handles everything and anything... be it his house sale, a problem at work, how he looks after his kids, getting a cab! Even the very little things, like ordering a drink….add in some appreciation and he will be wondering why he feels so good around you and will want more...
· You being happy! Yes believe it or not HE feels happy if you are....he is attracted to your happiness…unconsciously he feels responsible for it even if he isn't...and the reverse applies, if you look unhappy he feels it too, so he will move away from you.
· Let him lead at all times... girls, you need to learn to leave a gap so that he can look after you… so stop taking care of everything yourself or he feels like he has no job! And so ask him for help… and never ever give him advice or ideas…
I guarantee if you do this he will feel fantastic and will start to give you the kind of attention you want...
Love, Nicki Vee x
P.S. If you are thinking yes Nicki but I've heard all this before and it hasn't worked yet I can guarantee you are not doing it well, especially nos 2!!
for more info on what to do go to the 7 big mistakes on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
You may be surprised by this!
So here are the top 3 things all men are looking for in a woman...these will turn his head towards you… you just have to get close enough…
· Acknowledge him for how he handles everything and anything... be it his house sale, a problem at work, how he looks after his kids, getting a cab! Even the very little things, like ordering a drink….add in some appreciation and he will be wondering why he feels so good around you and will want more...
· You being happy! Yes believe it or not HE feels happy if you are....he is attracted to your happiness…unconsciously he feels responsible for it even if he isn't...and the reverse applies, if you look unhappy he feels it too, so he will move away from you.
· Let him lead at all times... girls, you need to learn to leave a gap so that he can look after you… so stop taking care of everything yourself or he feels like he has no job! And so ask him for help… and never ever give him advice or ideas…
I guarantee if you do this he will feel fantastic and will start to give you the kind of attention you want...
Love, Nicki Vee x
P.S. If you are thinking yes Nicki but I've heard all this before and it hasn't worked yet I can guarantee you are not doing it well, especially nos 2!!
for more info on what to do go to the 7 big mistakes on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
Saturday, 12 July 2008
Sex Chat - # 2 - How to Spot a Nightmare Woman
This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.
This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.
This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great Love, Sex & Intimate life.
So what is this information that is so crucial?
Over the next 3 Blogs (and on our next 3 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' (a knight in shining armour)or a woman is 'a dream woman' (a princess). If you missed Sex Chat #1 - How to Spot a Plonker, go back to the blog, men and women are saying its incredible!
So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a woman is 'a bit of a nightmare'.
Now before you start to panic, girls thinking, maybe I am one or men thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what she's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.
1. A Nightmare normally has her own life completely sorted.
Girls, you are probably saying - what the hell is wrong with that? Well, here's the unspoken (up until now) truth! You see women want to feel safe BUT the problem is that women nowadays use all of their masculine energy to get so safe that it makes them unattractive to men. His unconscious is not drawn to look after you because you are doing it all for yourself. The next big problem with this is that this is very attractive to a wimp or a plonker. Think about it - are you available for a real man to sweep you off your feet or do you have a thousand golden handcuffs around you to make you feel safe?
Guys, if you spot a woman who is living like this (certainty freaks we call them)steer clear. If you are drawn to be with her because it would give you the kind of security you desire - that is crap! Stop that - get your own life together and then find a woman who is healthy and available for you to look after. Otherwise she will be 'like a mother to you' and she will try and control you and she will keep taking over - you don't want that do you? If you are with a woman who does this you need to step up and take charge.
2. A Nightmare woman is a victim.
Girls, if in your life you feel like nothing seems to go right for you, or if you are often ill or if your family and friends always need you and you fall out with people then you are running a victim pattern. Tell the truth do you talk to other women about your man and what he doesn't do or how you can't find a good man? If this is you, stop it! What we put out we get back. What we think and talk about will be our experience. Until you stop 'enjoying' the connection that having problems gives you you are never going to be happy or in a great relationship!
Guys, if you are dating a woman and she starts to tell you her problems, challenges, who she is upset with or how this happened to her - bad sign. This will be your life. Never try and sort out the problems for her or they will never end. And you will be giving her mixed messages. She will think that you want to 'sort out her messes for life!' If you are with a victim don't re enforce it. You have to be clear that these are not real problems and that everything will be fine. Tony always says if you are not being masculine she will keep testing you. Victim is all a test. Move towards her in a healthy way and she 'might' stop doing it. If she doesn't stop it you might want to follow through of what you've been secretly thinking about - are you willing to live your life like this?
3. A Nightmare worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.
Girls, notice this is the same wording as no 3. of how to spot a plonker. You see if you are stressed you will probably have attracted a man who is the same. So then the whole relationship becomes stressed. You are also probably doing what I mentioned in nos 1. and getting certainty for yourself. Now this is not healthy I feel good about myself certainty, this is unhealthy, fear based I must have the house paid for, I must have a cast iron pension and I must have a job/business/relationship that is guaranteed for life certainty! Now this doesn't mean you have to be penniless, destitute and needy (in fact that is very unattractive to a man too unless he is into rescuing/taking on women as a project) you just need to be healthily ok. Just easily and effortlessly living a great life, doing what you love, not attached to security or your relationship, no worry, doubt and stress - just you, happy and free of fear. Now thats what a real man is looking to be with.
Guys, if the women you are attracted to are stressed out and looking for masses of certainty - these woman are going to be a nightmare to live with. Her certainty needs will never be met and she will be always be trying to get security for you too.
If you are with a woman who is like this, you need to step up. You need to take charge and give her the kind of feelings of certainty that she has been trying to give to herself. One word of caution, if your woman has a 'very unhealthy' need for security (she needs massive amounts of money to feel safe or she needs you to tell her where you are at all times etc)don't give into that, you will be re-enforcing unhealthy behaviour. Just be really firm with her that she is safe with you and carry on living life in a way that meets your needs. Those needs must be healthy too don't forget - see how to spot a plonker to make sure!
4. A Nightmare acts passive aggressive.
Girls, you know if you are doing this. Do you try to make him feel guilty if he doesn't give you as much attention as you want? Do you 'look after him' but only so that he will do things for you? Do you manipulate his decisions by using 'false feminine' behaviour? This looks like 'poor me', I don't have my needs met, whiny kind of language - get the picture? The reason why we use the expression passive aggressive is because it has a soft passive look about it but it has aggression underneath. And the reason why this behaviour is so subtle and difficult to spot is because it looks a bit like 'archetype' femininity. Of course it isn't feminine at all its very dangerous behaviour because it may get you want you want but then you have control of your man and in worse cases a man who feels controlled will fight back. Hence the reason why many passive aggressives attract macho men. Get some help.
Guys, do you recognise any of this behaviour described above in your woman or the women you are attracted too? I have to tell you we have had many of these women at our retreat and they were all taught by mum most commonly to put on this behaviour to get a man. Here's the bad news - they are often the most attractive! The reason for this is that they overuse their sexuality/unhealthy femininity to attract and 'snare a man' and then use their sexuality to keep him and its usually all one way traffic. If you are with a woman like this and you are letting her control you this way you won't be feeling like a man and you may be getting your masculine needs met elsewhere - yes? So if not giving into her doesn't work - get out!
5. A Nightmare is a drama queen
Girls, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to drama? do you constantly talk about all the dreadful things that happened to you as a child? do you believe you were somehow abused? does life always deal you some mammoth issue to deal with? are all your converstions with your girlfriends about the latest thing that he did that you reacted badly to? if so you are a drama queen honey bunch! Now there is one sure fire way to stop this now and its easy - stop living in the past and don't make something worse than it is. I promise you that if you do this you will attract less drama into your life and your relationships will become less volatile.This could be hard at first because some women are addicted to drama and life may seem dull in comparison. Hang in there, its much healthier and will bring long term happiness.
Guys, easy to spot, difficult not to get into a relationship with! Why? because these women are normally feisty, fun and seemingly happy. But the truth is there will always be something not quite right, something needing to be got over and always it will be at the centre of life. A bit like the victim pattern this woman may have accidents, illnesses, problems with the kids, fall outs with people and normally big parent issue stuff. If you are with a woman like this you are going to need to be like a rock, immovable, unflappable, centered, stoic and strong. All the qualities you need to handle any woman but you may need to turn the dial right up for drama queens!
So there we have it, Sex Chat - #2 - How to Spot a Nightmare Woman.
Trust that has been useful for both men and women.
If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.
Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!
Please see our TNTV videos on any of the following :- YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast
Speak soon,
Nicki Vee x
This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.
This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great Love, Sex & Intimate life.
So what is this information that is so crucial?
Over the next 3 Blogs (and on our next 3 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' (a knight in shining armour)or a woman is 'a dream woman' (a princess). If you missed Sex Chat #1 - How to Spot a Plonker, go back to the blog, men and women are saying its incredible!
So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a woman is 'a bit of a nightmare'.
Now before you start to panic, girls thinking, maybe I am one or men thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what she's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.
1. A Nightmare normally has her own life completely sorted.
Girls, you are probably saying - what the hell is wrong with that? Well, here's the unspoken (up until now) truth! You see women want to feel safe BUT the problem is that women nowadays use all of their masculine energy to get so safe that it makes them unattractive to men. His unconscious is not drawn to look after you because you are doing it all for yourself. The next big problem with this is that this is very attractive to a wimp or a plonker. Think about it - are you available for a real man to sweep you off your feet or do you have a thousand golden handcuffs around you to make you feel safe?
Guys, if you spot a woman who is living like this (certainty freaks we call them)steer clear. If you are drawn to be with her because it would give you the kind of security you desire - that is crap! Stop that - get your own life together and then find a woman who is healthy and available for you to look after. Otherwise she will be 'like a mother to you' and she will try and control you and she will keep taking over - you don't want that do you? If you are with a woman who does this you need to step up and take charge.
2. A Nightmare woman is a victim.
Girls, if in your life you feel like nothing seems to go right for you, or if you are often ill or if your family and friends always need you and you fall out with people then you are running a victim pattern. Tell the truth do you talk to other women about your man and what he doesn't do or how you can't find a good man? If this is you, stop it! What we put out we get back. What we think and talk about will be our experience. Until you stop 'enjoying' the connection that having problems gives you you are never going to be happy or in a great relationship!
Guys, if you are dating a woman and she starts to tell you her problems, challenges, who she is upset with or how this happened to her - bad sign. This will be your life. Never try and sort out the problems for her or they will never end. And you will be giving her mixed messages. She will think that you want to 'sort out her messes for life!' If you are with a victim don't re enforce it. You have to be clear that these are not real problems and that everything will be fine. Tony always says if you are not being masculine she will keep testing you. Victim is all a test. Move towards her in a healthy way and she 'might' stop doing it. If she doesn't stop it you might want to follow through of what you've been secretly thinking about - are you willing to live your life like this?
3. A Nightmare worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.
Girls, notice this is the same wording as no 3. of how to spot a plonker. You see if you are stressed you will probably have attracted a man who is the same. So then the whole relationship becomes stressed. You are also probably doing what I mentioned in nos 1. and getting certainty for yourself. Now this is not healthy I feel good about myself certainty, this is unhealthy, fear based I must have the house paid for, I must have a cast iron pension and I must have a job/business/relationship that is guaranteed for life certainty! Now this doesn't mean you have to be penniless, destitute and needy (in fact that is very unattractive to a man too unless he is into rescuing/taking on women as a project) you just need to be healthily ok. Just easily and effortlessly living a great life, doing what you love, not attached to security or your relationship, no worry, doubt and stress - just you, happy and free of fear. Now thats what a real man is looking to be with.
Guys, if the women you are attracted to are stressed out and looking for masses of certainty - these woman are going to be a nightmare to live with. Her certainty needs will never be met and she will be always be trying to get security for you too.
If you are with a woman who is like this, you need to step up. You need to take charge and give her the kind of feelings of certainty that she has been trying to give to herself. One word of caution, if your woman has a 'very unhealthy' need for security (she needs massive amounts of money to feel safe or she needs you to tell her where you are at all times etc)don't give into that, you will be re-enforcing unhealthy behaviour. Just be really firm with her that she is safe with you and carry on living life in a way that meets your needs. Those needs must be healthy too don't forget - see how to spot a plonker to make sure!
4. A Nightmare acts passive aggressive.
Girls, you know if you are doing this. Do you try to make him feel guilty if he doesn't give you as much attention as you want? Do you 'look after him' but only so that he will do things for you? Do you manipulate his decisions by using 'false feminine' behaviour? This looks like 'poor me', I don't have my needs met, whiny kind of language - get the picture? The reason why we use the expression passive aggressive is because it has a soft passive look about it but it has aggression underneath. And the reason why this behaviour is so subtle and difficult to spot is because it looks a bit like 'archetype' femininity. Of course it isn't feminine at all its very dangerous behaviour because it may get you want you want but then you have control of your man and in worse cases a man who feels controlled will fight back. Hence the reason why many passive aggressives attract macho men. Get some help.
Guys, do you recognise any of this behaviour described above in your woman or the women you are attracted too? I have to tell you we have had many of these women at our retreat and they were all taught by mum most commonly to put on this behaviour to get a man. Here's the bad news - they are often the most attractive! The reason for this is that they overuse their sexuality/unhealthy femininity to attract and 'snare a man' and then use their sexuality to keep him and its usually all one way traffic. If you are with a woman like this and you are letting her control you this way you won't be feeling like a man and you may be getting your masculine needs met elsewhere - yes? So if not giving into her doesn't work - get out!
5. A Nightmare is a drama queen
Girls, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to drama? do you constantly talk about all the dreadful things that happened to you as a child? do you believe you were somehow abused? does life always deal you some mammoth issue to deal with? are all your converstions with your girlfriends about the latest thing that he did that you reacted badly to? if so you are a drama queen honey bunch! Now there is one sure fire way to stop this now and its easy - stop living in the past and don't make something worse than it is. I promise you that if you do this you will attract less drama into your life and your relationships will become less volatile.This could be hard at first because some women are addicted to drama and life may seem dull in comparison. Hang in there, its much healthier and will bring long term happiness.
Guys, easy to spot, difficult not to get into a relationship with! Why? because these women are normally feisty, fun and seemingly happy. But the truth is there will always be something not quite right, something needing to be got over and always it will be at the centre of life. A bit like the victim pattern this woman may have accidents, illnesses, problems with the kids, fall outs with people and normally big parent issue stuff. If you are with a woman like this you are going to need to be like a rock, immovable, unflappable, centered, stoic and strong. All the qualities you need to handle any woman but you may need to turn the dial right up for drama queens!
So there we have it, Sex Chat - #2 - How to Spot a Nightmare Woman.
Trust that has been useful for both men and women.
If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.
Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!
Please see our TNTV videos on any of the following :- YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast
Speak soon,
Nicki Vee x
Friday, 11 July 2008
Do I Compromise?
One of the most Frequently Asked Questions, and it most commonly comes from people is a very new relationship is, Do I Compromise?
Well simply answered if you want to be in an 'ok' relationship that you would score between 5 and 7 on a scale of 0 - 10 then yes go ahead and compromise your needs or values. But, be warned, its most likely to stay at a 5 - 7, and it will probably get worse.
Why is that? Well again the short answer is that in everybody's '10' is the phrase 'he/she loves and accepts me exactly as I am'. And so if we modify/compromise or adjust our values we do not feel good about ourselves. It's like we did a deal with ourselves long ago that we will be ourselves even if that means that it is not 'a good fit' with someone we want to be with. So the reason it often deteriorates is that we kind of resent what we have had to do differently just because it didn't suit our partner. Resentment is 'red' and so will always cause disconnection.
I was coaching someone today who is in a new relationship where the man is asking the woman to stop behaving in a certain way that doesn't meet his values and beliefs. Now she sees no wrong in what she is doing. So are either of them right or wrong about the actual thing? No, of course not, its just a difference in values and beliefs. The danger is, if there is attachment to this man, that she is likely to compromise to 'keep the peace'. My hallucination is that it won't stop there. What happens the next time? Does she compromise again? So often people will talk about this being like living on egg shells.
So there is no rule book of what is right or wrong. There is only your needs. So my answer is no, don't compromise. Better to find someone who shares your values and beliefs!
Oh and last thing and this is what I counselled this young lady to do today - Remember to tell the other person what you have decided from a 'green' space. What does that look like? It means to not make them wrong, it means to own your decision and it means to be loving. I guarantee that the relationship will benefit from this whether you are meant to be together or not.
Nicki Vee x
www.tonyandnickivee.com
Girls, Are you in a new relationship? You might want to check out this weeks You Tube video - How To Spot A Plonker!
Well simply answered if you want to be in an 'ok' relationship that you would score between 5 and 7 on a scale of 0 - 10 then yes go ahead and compromise your needs or values. But, be warned, its most likely to stay at a 5 - 7, and it will probably get worse.
Why is that? Well again the short answer is that in everybody's '10' is the phrase 'he/she loves and accepts me exactly as I am'. And so if we modify/compromise or adjust our values we do not feel good about ourselves. It's like we did a deal with ourselves long ago that we will be ourselves even if that means that it is not 'a good fit' with someone we want to be with. So the reason it often deteriorates is that we kind of resent what we have had to do differently just because it didn't suit our partner. Resentment is 'red' and so will always cause disconnection.
I was coaching someone today who is in a new relationship where the man is asking the woman to stop behaving in a certain way that doesn't meet his values and beliefs. Now she sees no wrong in what she is doing. So are either of them right or wrong about the actual thing? No, of course not, its just a difference in values and beliefs. The danger is, if there is attachment to this man, that she is likely to compromise to 'keep the peace'. My hallucination is that it won't stop there. What happens the next time? Does she compromise again? So often people will talk about this being like living on egg shells.
So there is no rule book of what is right or wrong. There is only your needs. So my answer is no, don't compromise. Better to find someone who shares your values and beliefs!
Oh and last thing and this is what I counselled this young lady to do today - Remember to tell the other person what you have decided from a 'green' space. What does that look like? It means to not make them wrong, it means to own your decision and it means to be loving. I guarantee that the relationship will benefit from this whether you are meant to be together or not.
Nicki Vee x
www.tonyandnickivee.com
Girls, Are you in a new relationship? You might want to check out this weeks You Tube video - How To Spot A Plonker!
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker
This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.
This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.
This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.
So what is this information that is so crucial?
Over the next 4 Blogs (and on our next 4 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a plonker' or a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' or a woman is 'a princess'.
So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving 'like a plonker'.
Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, maybe I am one or women thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.
1. A Plonker does not have his own life together.
Guys if this is you, get a plan, get some help, stop trying to please everyone else and above all be good with what you want to do and when. This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled for you is something she can look up to and sign up to.
Girls, if a man does not have his own life together, leave him alone to sort it out! So many women take men on as a project, give him advice, take care of him, protect him from problems or nag him to death about it. This is the worst thing you can do. If you're single this is not the man for you, if you're attached leave him to it and get on with your own life (acting like a princess of course)
2. A Plonker asks women for help.
Guys if this you, stop it! If you really need help go to an expert or someone else, just not another plonker! You see asking a woman puts you in a slightly inferior position. You might ask, what's wrong with that? Well the answer is everything, and I don't mean you have to be superior either, but if you want to be intimate with this woman you have to understand that woman are looking for a man who is strong and resourceful and can handle problems. Asking her for help makes her feel like you need her and thats not healthy. It feels to her like you need mothering, and you don't want that do you?
Girls, if he keeps asking you for help stop responding! He will soon realise that you are not going to give it to him and either he will 'step up' or not. Again if you're single this is not the man for you and if you're attached stop responding to his questions. A great answer is, 'you'll know what to do' or 'you are so good at that kind of thing'. Oh and don't fall into the trap of making allowances if you are more expert at something than him. Let him find someone else to help him or you may find yourself at best 'good friends' and at worst, like a couple who were close to divorce said, 'two people sharing a house who argue a lot and never make love!'
3. A Plonker worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.
Guys if this is you firstly you might want to look at the results you're getting. Seriously, and this may sound like airy fairy nonsense, the way you think will have a direct affect on your results. Secondly, notice your own language. If you are using tonality that sounds stressed and language that normally starts with, 'the problem is' or 'isn't it awful that' or 'nothing ever seems to go the way I want it' or anything like those phrases know that you are likely to firstly get poor results and secondly you are likely to attract or stay with a woman who does the same. So as the Americans say, 'go figure' - you may want to make some fast changes.
Girls, if he looks and sounds worried, stressed and what we would call 'not in a good place' don't make it worse! What do I mean? Well our biggest habit is to try and fix him by either going into the more 'masculine' role of 'giving logical advice' or 'helping him by being really focused' or even worse, 'taking the problem off him' or by mothering him. Mothering looks like making him comfortable, cooking him his favourite meal, and saying 'poor thing'! Either is a recipe for him staying down as your behaviour makes him feel even worse about himself. Single? - this is a very bad sign, so not for you. Attached? leave him alone and give him space - don't re-enforce it unless you want this behaviour for the rest of your life.
4. A Plonker acts macho or feminine.
Guys, any form of verbal or physical aggression is not cool and it frightens women. Whether you do it directly at her or at someone else or at life it shows you to be an angry man who is out of control and actually full of fear. Get some help, talk to my amazing husband, in confidence, book some time with him now. The opposite of course is that you act feminine. This normally shows up as softly spoken and very meek and mild, allowing the world to dictate your actions and things 'happen to you'. In NLP terms you are at 'effect' not 'cause'. Best course of action is to really learn what healthy masculine behaviour looks like and know that that will get you success in life and with women. A great book for you will be 'Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida.
Girls, if you are with or attracted to a macho man, we need to talk. Hey, I have no judgement, as I did this for near on 20 years. Look these men have problems that you cannot fix and so the worst thing you can do is accept this behaviour or try and fight it. Please contact me, I promise I can help, and in the meantime try telling him the truth, but hold on, not from your anger or by being passive or a victim, this will have definitely evoked more macho behaviour in the past. Its classic victim/aggressor, co-dependant behaviour. A must read for you is 'Women Who Love Too Much' by Robyn Norwood. My first book ever, changed my life.
And girls if you are considering a relationship with a feminine man, know that you will always be taking the lead, know that you will not be having your feminine core needs met. So its again a no no. If you are in a relationship with a man who is behaving in a way that we might describe as 'feminine' there is only one solution. You must stop being masculine/mothering with him, that looks like taking charge, organising everything, making plans, making the decisions, often its also handling the money for you both. You need to learn to 'leave the gap'. That means if its not done or arranged you do nothing. My quick tip for handling this, and it can be a bit difficult at first, is to ask yourself - whats the worst that can happen? or - is this a life or death situation? it so rarely is of course so you can just leave it to him. He will start doing things, you'll be amazed, and notice how he grows in stature with his newly acquired power. Book for you - 'Surrendered Wife' by Laura Doyle. Don't be put off by the title its actually very good practical advice.
5. A Plonker has addictions.
Guys, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to or drawn regularly to alcohol or smoking or food or drugs (illegal, prescription or off the shelf) or sex? If so this is not the kind of behaviour that a healthy woman is drawn to. It feels to her as if you 'need things outside of yourself to get by'. Now I don't mean the odd pint, glass of wine or aspirin but if you are a smoker or a regular binge drinker or you take packets of tablets or you have a penchant for a lot of porn this is very likely to get you into a relationship or living long term with a woman who does the same. This means that both of you will be drawn to things other than each other and that will lead to massive disconnection, rows and very possibly infidelity. Both of you will be searching outside of your relationship for fulfilment and that's never going to give you what you really want.
Girls if he has addictions you might want to consider whether this is the relationship for you. The difficulty with addictions is that whilst they are easy to justify, for example so many people say, well a few drinks relaxes you or the more sex you have the better, it never seems to work out like that in real life. Your life will be affected by his addictions. They will anesthetise him to you, and more importantly to the truth. He might avoid difficult situations and avoid real intimacy. If you are intent on staying then you could let him know how you feel and then make sure you do not tell him to stop. Acknowledge what he does do that you love and you could be surprised, that may make him feel so good that he decides to stop whatever he is addicted too. The key here is that he decides, that is the only thing that will work long term.
So there we have it, Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker.
Trust that has been useful for both men and women.
If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.
Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!
Please see our video's on any of the following :- YouTube, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast
Speak soon,
Nicki Vee x
This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.
This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.
So what is this information that is so crucial?
Over the next 4 Blogs (and on our next 4 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a plonker' or a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' or a woman is 'a princess'.
So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving 'like a plonker'.
Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, maybe I am one or women thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.
1. A Plonker does not have his own life together.
Guys if this is you, get a plan, get some help, stop trying to please everyone else and above all be good with what you want to do and when. This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled for you is something she can look up to and sign up to.
Girls, if a man does not have his own life together, leave him alone to sort it out! So many women take men on as a project, give him advice, take care of him, protect him from problems or nag him to death about it. This is the worst thing you can do. If you're single this is not the man for you, if you're attached leave him to it and get on with your own life (acting like a princess of course)
2. A Plonker asks women for help.
Guys if this you, stop it! If you really need help go to an expert or someone else, just not another plonker! You see asking a woman puts you in a slightly inferior position. You might ask, what's wrong with that? Well the answer is everything, and I don't mean you have to be superior either, but if you want to be intimate with this woman you have to understand that woman are looking for a man who is strong and resourceful and can handle problems. Asking her for help makes her feel like you need her and thats not healthy. It feels to her like you need mothering, and you don't want that do you?
Girls, if he keeps asking you for help stop responding! He will soon realise that you are not going to give it to him and either he will 'step up' or not. Again if you're single this is not the man for you and if you're attached stop responding to his questions. A great answer is, 'you'll know what to do' or 'you are so good at that kind of thing'. Oh and don't fall into the trap of making allowances if you are more expert at something than him. Let him find someone else to help him or you may find yourself at best 'good friends' and at worst, like a couple who were close to divorce said, 'two people sharing a house who argue a lot and never make love!'
3. A Plonker worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.
Guys if this is you firstly you might want to look at the results you're getting. Seriously, and this may sound like airy fairy nonsense, the way you think will have a direct affect on your results. Secondly, notice your own language. If you are using tonality that sounds stressed and language that normally starts with, 'the problem is' or 'isn't it awful that' or 'nothing ever seems to go the way I want it' or anything like those phrases know that you are likely to firstly get poor results and secondly you are likely to attract or stay with a woman who does the same. So as the Americans say, 'go figure' - you may want to make some fast changes.
Girls, if he looks and sounds worried, stressed and what we would call 'not in a good place' don't make it worse! What do I mean? Well our biggest habit is to try and fix him by either going into the more 'masculine' role of 'giving logical advice' or 'helping him by being really focused' or even worse, 'taking the problem off him' or by mothering him. Mothering looks like making him comfortable, cooking him his favourite meal, and saying 'poor thing'! Either is a recipe for him staying down as your behaviour makes him feel even worse about himself. Single? - this is a very bad sign, so not for you. Attached? leave him alone and give him space - don't re-enforce it unless you want this behaviour for the rest of your life.
4. A Plonker acts macho or feminine.
Guys, any form of verbal or physical aggression is not cool and it frightens women. Whether you do it directly at her or at someone else or at life it shows you to be an angry man who is out of control and actually full of fear. Get some help, talk to my amazing husband, in confidence, book some time with him now. The opposite of course is that you act feminine. This normally shows up as softly spoken and very meek and mild, allowing the world to dictate your actions and things 'happen to you'. In NLP terms you are at 'effect' not 'cause'. Best course of action is to really learn what healthy masculine behaviour looks like and know that that will get you success in life and with women. A great book for you will be 'Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida.
Girls, if you are with or attracted to a macho man, we need to talk. Hey, I have no judgement, as I did this for near on 20 years. Look these men have problems that you cannot fix and so the worst thing you can do is accept this behaviour or try and fight it. Please contact me, I promise I can help, and in the meantime try telling him the truth, but hold on, not from your anger or by being passive or a victim, this will have definitely evoked more macho behaviour in the past. Its classic victim/aggressor, co-dependant behaviour. A must read for you is 'Women Who Love Too Much' by Robyn Norwood. My first book ever, changed my life.
And girls if you are considering a relationship with a feminine man, know that you will always be taking the lead, know that you will not be having your feminine core needs met. So its again a no no. If you are in a relationship with a man who is behaving in a way that we might describe as 'feminine' there is only one solution. You must stop being masculine/mothering with him, that looks like taking charge, organising everything, making plans, making the decisions, often its also handling the money for you both. You need to learn to 'leave the gap'. That means if its not done or arranged you do nothing. My quick tip for handling this, and it can be a bit difficult at first, is to ask yourself - whats the worst that can happen? or - is this a life or death situation? it so rarely is of course so you can just leave it to him. He will start doing things, you'll be amazed, and notice how he grows in stature with his newly acquired power. Book for you - 'Surrendered Wife' by Laura Doyle. Don't be put off by the title its actually very good practical advice.
5. A Plonker has addictions.
Guys, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to or drawn regularly to alcohol or smoking or food or drugs (illegal, prescription or off the shelf) or sex? If so this is not the kind of behaviour that a healthy woman is drawn to. It feels to her as if you 'need things outside of yourself to get by'. Now I don't mean the odd pint, glass of wine or aspirin but if you are a smoker or a regular binge drinker or you take packets of tablets or you have a penchant for a lot of porn this is very likely to get you into a relationship or living long term with a woman who does the same. This means that both of you will be drawn to things other than each other and that will lead to massive disconnection, rows and very possibly infidelity. Both of you will be searching outside of your relationship for fulfilment and that's never going to give you what you really want.
Girls if he has addictions you might want to consider whether this is the relationship for you. The difficulty with addictions is that whilst they are easy to justify, for example so many people say, well a few drinks relaxes you or the more sex you have the better, it never seems to work out like that in real life. Your life will be affected by his addictions. They will anesthetise him to you, and more importantly to the truth. He might avoid difficult situations and avoid real intimacy. If you are intent on staying then you could let him know how you feel and then make sure you do not tell him to stop. Acknowledge what he does do that you love and you could be surprised, that may make him feel so good that he decides to stop whatever he is addicted too. The key here is that he decides, that is the only thing that will work long term.
So there we have it, Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker.
Trust that has been useful for both men and women.
If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.
Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!
Please see our video's on any of the following :- YouTube, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast
Speak soon,
Nicki Vee x
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
How To Make Him Crazy About You - Your Blog Coach x
Ok this was one of the questions that came into our website last week -
How do I make him crazy about me?
You know what, that question is so common; 2 women coaching clients this week also described behaviour from men as 'disinterested', 'not committed' or just 'he doesn't seem into me'.
So here's the quick answer:-
There are 2 things that may be causing this.
One is that he actually isn't interested. Maybe he doesn't want to behave in a way that he would if he was crazy about you, maybe he doesn't want to be with you, maybe he doesn't want to ravish you or look after you and treat you like a princess. If honestly that is the case - move on!
The second reason could be that you are not behaving in a way that gives him the opportunity to act the way you would like. If a man is crazy about you he will spontaniously ask you out, organize things, arrange time together, ask you to move in with him, marry you and have babies with you (if thats humanly posssible!). Now if you are doing all the doing, making all the running, taking charge and telling him what to do he will definitely move away from you and do the opposite. The other habit that women run is to be needy and so a 'bit of a nightmare' as men would put it. Both of these patterns will cause him to look elsewhere for something to meet his needs. This could be a different woman but it also could be work, sport, television or the computer.
So whats the truth?
Has he ever really acted as if he's crazy about you? If so ask yourself the question how have I behaved to change things? If the answer is no he has never acted that way my hallucination is that, if you are in a relationship with him, that it is a relationship of convenience. Those kind of relationships will never meet either of your real needs, they tend to just meet the 'practical needs'. And why would you settle for that?
Last point, maybe you are not 'crazy about you' either? If you are negative, unhappy, stressed or just plain 'in a funk', no man is going to be 'crazy about you'.
There is no great red blooded, masculine man out there who wants to be with a woman that doesn't love life and feel good about herself!
So now you know what you need to do! And have I once mentioned what to wear or what to say? No!
Healthy happy, masculine men go crazy for healthy, happy, feminine women...
Go figure as they say in the states!
Let me know what you think about this....
Love, Nicki Vee x
http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
You can view our videos on any of the following links... Have Fun...
YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast
How do I make him crazy about me?
You know what, that question is so common; 2 women coaching clients this week also described behaviour from men as 'disinterested', 'not committed' or just 'he doesn't seem into me'.
So here's the quick answer:-
There are 2 things that may be causing this.
One is that he actually isn't interested. Maybe he doesn't want to behave in a way that he would if he was crazy about you, maybe he doesn't want to be with you, maybe he doesn't want to ravish you or look after you and treat you like a princess. If honestly that is the case - move on!
The second reason could be that you are not behaving in a way that gives him the opportunity to act the way you would like. If a man is crazy about you he will spontaniously ask you out, organize things, arrange time together, ask you to move in with him, marry you and have babies with you (if thats humanly posssible!). Now if you are doing all the doing, making all the running, taking charge and telling him what to do he will definitely move away from you and do the opposite. The other habit that women run is to be needy and so a 'bit of a nightmare' as men would put it. Both of these patterns will cause him to look elsewhere for something to meet his needs. This could be a different woman but it also could be work, sport, television or the computer.
So whats the truth?
Has he ever really acted as if he's crazy about you? If so ask yourself the question how have I behaved to change things? If the answer is no he has never acted that way my hallucination is that, if you are in a relationship with him, that it is a relationship of convenience. Those kind of relationships will never meet either of your real needs, they tend to just meet the 'practical needs'. And why would you settle for that?
Last point, maybe you are not 'crazy about you' either? If you are negative, unhappy, stressed or just plain 'in a funk', no man is going to be 'crazy about you'.
There is no great red blooded, masculine man out there who wants to be with a woman that doesn't love life and feel good about herself!
So now you know what you need to do! And have I once mentioned what to wear or what to say? No!
Healthy happy, masculine men go crazy for healthy, happy, feminine women...
Go figure as they say in the states!
Let me know what you think about this....
Love, Nicki Vee x
http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
You can view our videos on any of the following links... Have Fun...
YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast
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