Relationship Advice - Sex & Money 4

Are you one of those people who others talk about saying 'Yes, He/She Has It All'?

So many people believe that if they had Loads Of Money that they could 'Have It All', that they would be happy, and that their Intimate Relationship Problems would go away!

If only that were true!

Both Tony and I have experienced being very wealthy in our lives and we can both emphatically tell you that it does not equal happiness especially in your intimate relationships!

Why is that?

Well it's often different for men and women ...

For men, having loads of money can often mean that they can easily attract women or that a woman will stay with them for security or because of their great lifestyle. This is because some of the qualities that cause a man to be successful financially are often seen as very 'masculine' by women. This could be their certainty and confidence in themselves, their power to influence others and their ability to 'have what they want'.

The problem is that, in many cases, their other behaviour does not meet their partners needs at all. This can be an inordinately high drive for more success and/or more sex, an addiction to various things that help them 'come down' from the stresses of their business life and/or constantly being drawn to distractions such as sport, the pub, television, more work and worst case, other women. These behaviours leave little or no time to nurture a new relationship or sustain the attraction within a longer term one. Often women feel second best to 'the business' or even his hobbies and can become demanding, needy, nagging and sometimes even drawn to create their own 'separate life'.

All of this can look like a dream life from the outside but, if the wealthy couples that we coach are anything to go by, this can lead to massive disconnection, mistrust, constant arguing and a lack of true intimacy.

So men, you want to know the answer?

Put the same kind of attention to loving your woman that you would give to your business. Find out her real needs. Often what she says she wants is only the surface need and of course the mistake many rich men make is to try to 'buy' peace, harmony and a happy woman! Give her your time and your certainty about life with you that is not linked to your bank account. Don't try to please her, live the life you want to live or she will never really 'trust you', if she can sway you she will believe the world can. Oh, and learn what it takes to really make love to a woman, this is very different than having sex!

Now I know that sounds a bit confusing, women are complicated beings, so why not call us for more clarity! Tony always says it took him a long time to really learn this stuff but the rewards are unbelievable...

So women who 'have it all', what happens for them?

Can they have it all, or like the men, do they find that in many cases that having a lot of money negatively affects their love life?

Sadly yes, the women that we have coached all say the same. I have it all except for a great relationship!

So why is this? Well fundamentally most women who have made it financially have used quite a lot of masculine traits in order to be successful. This is attractive to more 'feminine' men and a complete turn off to 'masculine' men. You see even if a woman attracts a man who is equally successful there will not be the polarity/attraction long term because he doesn't really want to be 'equal' (the same) or in competition with his intimate partner.

So I hear you ask what the hell do we do? We don't want to be with a feminine man who depends on us and we want to be with a masculine man who loves us as we are.

Well there are two stages - firstly of course you can be successful in your own right BUT you need to learn to do that in a feminine way so that you have polarity with a masculine man. You need to take your right foot off the accelerator (gas pedal)! My experience was that as soon as I stopped pushing, driving, striving and forcing for more success that I started to feel and act more feminine and I DID NOT become any less successful by doing that, in fact, I earned more! I also felt more at peace and more relaxed. I definitely showed up differently with men and therefore miraculously started to attract a completely different kind of man.

Secondly, I put my attention towards my social, relationship and home life rather than fit it around work as I had in the past. I put 'him' first and my work didn't suffer at all. My selection process was much better though, I chose to spend time with men that I respected and admired.
Eventually he found me and my life and work fitted perfectly into his.

This is what worked for me as a successful, single woman and the same will work for you if you are in a relationship with a successful man. True intimacy and long term attraction will happen if you 'let him be the man', trust him to look after you and learn to be in your feminine but be careful that does not look needy or demanding. If you need more clarification on that email me now!

And finally if you are a successful woman who is in a relationship with a man who is not, you may be concerned as to how this relationship can work better. Its a little complicated to handle in full here but look at the options listed above that apply to single women and do the same. Probably the only way that this relationship will work is for you to let go of being 'in charge' and to absolutely know that underneath he is a real man who has just lost his way. The way to assist him to get back on track is to let go yourself and to ask him for help. All real men respond magnificently to a woman asking for help. And if he doesn't then maybe we do need to talk...

Finally woman who are successful can often find it complicated in the bedroom too. They are either very confident and getting a lot of sex that isn't fulfilling as its more like sexual athletics or they are too busy and tired for any sex at all. Being feminine means being taken and being loved by a man physically, if you are in charge this cannot happen and you won't be fulfilled. Get the message?

Whatever your situation please know that Tony and I are available for a complimentary 30 minute consultation. I know we can help you, in our experience there is no relationship problem that cannot be resolved with some time and commitment.

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Speak soon, Nicki Vee x