Who Should Take The Lead In The Bedroom?

Who Should Take The Lead In The Bedroom?

There is only one answer - THE MAN!

Why is that?

Well, we have a saying, 'whatever happens outside of the bedroom will happen inside the bedroom'

If the man is not running his life the way that he wants, if he is feeling controlled by his woman, he is likely to do one of 2 things:

1. Give into her way of doing things, fit in with her timings, do as he's told and feel an underlying resentment towards her which can result in lack of intimacy or
2. Live a life that meets his needs outside of the relationship ( even if thats just in his mind) and maybe just return for sex

You see a man needs to feel in charge of his life and his woman. This, of course, needs to be a healthy, loving man who wishes to meet his womans needs as well as his own. If in doubt read all our blogs on what women want!

So if he's in charge and decides for both of them about life and intimacy they will have a better connection and therefore more fulfilling love making.

So, the woman has a role to play too. We are not suggesting that if a man is 'behaving badly' that you should put up with it or give into inconsiderate demands for sex. What we are saying is to look honestly as to whether you are in charge in this relationship or not.

If you know you are, trust me, you will never have the kind of intimacy you desire with any man.

All men react badly to 'a woman in charge'

So girls, you need to trust him and let go. Do read the other blogs on what men want.

So now we understand who needs to be in charge here, most men ask for the 'paint by numbers'!

So here is the bottom line:

MEN need to make time for 'intimate time'. This is outside (before lovemaking) and inside the bedroom. He needs to be in a great space himself, not stressed and grumpy and dying for a release! He needs to understand that his woman needs time to get even more relaxed so that lovemaking is a beautiful experience. He needs to prepare the bedroom in a way that meets her needs. This may be candles, soft lighting etc and definitely tidy with no interruptions.

WOMEN need to get themselves in a space where they are ready and open to being loved. So maybe making sure the kids are settled, the house is calm, work is put away and you've had a long relaxing bath? Whatever works for you. And even if your man is still slightly stressed you could give him a non sexual massage (the intention is not to get him excited, this will only lead to a quick sexual release not true intimacy) or whatever else relaxes him

So once both of you are out of stress and talking intimately with each other, it might be the right time to go to the beautifully prepared bedroom for lovemaking...

So who makes that decison?

Yes HIM!

Love, enjoy each other....

Nicki Vee x

Need to talk to us about your personal intimacy? please book a initial consultation on our home page on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Get It Together Before You Go To Bed

So how do you, 'Get It Together Before You Go To Bed?'

And, maybe more importantly, what are the consequences if you don't?

Well firstly, to get it together, you both need to find ways to get really connected to each other intimately before you go to bed because the consequences of not doing so could significantly and detrimentally affect your sex life and ultimately it could ruin your whole relationship!

And why do we say that this is the most important thing to get right for all couples?

Well, it's because if you are not connected intimately before you have sex you are likely to be having an individual experience instead of a shared one!

The 4 things that go wrong are:-

• You are both completely focused on other things such as work, the kids, television, the computer etc etc
• You are either thinking I want to have sex to relieve some tension or you are thinking I don't want sex at all
• The woman decides when, where, and how you have intercourse
• There is no preparation of the bedroom, it is a mess or clinically tidy!

NONE OF THESE WILL GIVE YOU A FABULOUS INTIMATE EXPERIENCE!

Which of them do you know you do?

And what's the alternative?

The 4 things that will create intimacy and beautiful love making:-

• Here's the thing - Intimacy and passion happens ONLY when the man takes the lead so he needs to make sure that time is created for 'getting it together!'
• During that time do your utmost NOT to talk about work, the kids, problems etc
• Do whatever you need to do to get yourself in a more relaxed state so that you are not stressed or frustrated when you move towards your partner
• Men to prepare the bedroom so that it feels like the kind of atmosphere that a woman could relax in. Women to prepare yourself so that you are open to being loved

So there it is, the simple philosophy that will give you a very different experience both inside and outside of the bedroom!

Nicki Vee x

For more on Love, Sex & Intimacy go to http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/