Tony & Nicki's Relationship Blog

Who Should Take The Lead In The Bedroom?

2008-11-26T09:49:00.003+01:00

Who Should Take The Lead In The Bedroom?

There is only one answer - THE MAN!

Why is that?

Well, we have a saying, 'whatever happens outside of the bedroom will happen inside the bedroom'

If the man is not running his life the way that he wants, if he is feeling controlled by his woman, he is likely to do one of 2 things:

Give into her way of doing things, fit in with her timings, do as he's told and feel an underlying resentment towards her which can result in lack of intimacy or
Live a life that meets his needs outside of the relationship ( even if thats just in his mind) and maybe just return for sex

You see a man needs to feel in charge of his life and his woman. This, of course, needs to be a healthy, loving man who wishes to meet his womans needs as well as his own. If in doubt read all our blogs on what women want!

So if he's in charge and decides for both of them about life and intimacy they will have a better connection and therefore more fulfilling love making.

So, the woman has a role to play too. We are not suggesting that if a man is 'behaving badly' that you should put up with it or give into inconsiderate demands for sex. What we are saying is to look honestly as to whether you are in charge in this relationship or not.

If you know you are, trust me, you will never have the kind of intimacy you desire with any man.

All men react badly to 'a woman in charge'

So girls, you need to trust him and let go. Do read the other blogs on what men want.

So now we understand who needs to be in charge here, most men ask for the 'paint by numbers'!

So here is the bottom line:

MEN need to make time for 'intimate time'. This is outside (before lovemaking) and inside the bedroom. He needs to be in a great space himself, not stressed and grumpy and dying for a release! He needs to understand that his woman needs time to get even more relaxed so that lovemaking is a beautiful experience. He needs to prepare the bedroom in a way that meets her needs. This may be candles, soft lighting etc and definitely tidy with no interruptions.

WOMEN need to get themselves in a space where they are ready and open to being loved. So maybe making sure the kids are settled, the house is calm, work is put away and you've had a long relaxing bath? Whatever works for you. And even if your man is still slightly stressed you could give him a non sexual massage (the intention is not to get him excited, this will only lead to a quick sexual release not true intimacy) or whatever else relaxes him

So once both of you are out of stress and talking intimately with each other, it might be the right time to go to the beautifully prepared bedroom for lovemaking...

So who makes that decison?

Yes HIM!

Love, enjoy each other....

Nicki Vee x

Need to talk to us about your personal intimacy? please book a initial consultation on our home page on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Get It Together Before You Go To Bed

2008-11-21T20:13:00.004+01:00

So how do you, 'Get It Together Before You Go To Bed?'

And, maybe more importantly, what are the consequences if you don't?

Well firstly, to get it together, you both need to find ways to get really connected to each other intimately before you go to bed because the consequences of not doing so could significantly and detrimentally affect your sex life and ultimately it could ruin your whole relationship!

And why do we say that this is the most important thing to get right for all couples?

Well, it's because if you are not connected intimately before you have sex you are likely to be having an individual experience instead of a shared one!

The 4 things that go wrong are:-

You are both completely focused on other things such as work, the kids, television, the computer etc etc
You are either thinking I want to have sex to relieve some tension or you are thinking I don't want sex at all
The woman decides when, where, and how you have intercourse
There is no preparation of the bedroom, it is a mess or clinically tidy!

NONE OF THESE WILL GIVE YOU A FABULOUS INTIMATE EXPERIENCE!

Which of them do you know you do?

And what's the alternative?

The 4 things that will create intimacy and beautiful love making:-

Here's the thing - Intimacy and passion happens ONLY when the man takes the lead so he needs to make sure that time is created for 'getting it together!'
During that time do your utmost NOT to talk about work, the kids, problems etc
Do whatever you need to do to get yourself in a more relaxed state so that you are not stressed or frustrated when you move towards your partner
Men to prepare the bedroom so that it feels like the kind of atmosphere that a woman could relax in. Women to prepare yourself so that you are open to being loved

So there it is, the simple philosophy that will give you a very different experience both inside and outside of the bedroom!

Nicki Vee x

For more on Love, Sex & Intimacy go to http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/

How To Make A Man Feel Fantastic

2008-10-31T10:41:00.004+01:00

So the biggest reaction we get from women when we start to talk about how to make a man feel fantastic is that they say, 'Why should I, when he doesn't do it for me?'

You see, thats the problem with the way the world has gone in terms of intimate relationships. We have so got into the practicalities of dating or marriage or living together that we have forgotten about romance and meeting each others needs.

I spoke to a woman last night who phoned for advice as to whether she should quit her job that takes her away from home a lot. You see the problem is that actually she felt that her relationship was better because she was away. It was more 'practical'. It meant they could manage their finances, kids, house chores etc in a way that met both their needs. So why was she really ringing? Because there is no passion or romance in her relationship.

Just like the single woman who suggested to her date the easiest place for them to meet which was more 'practical' for them both, transport wise. Even before the date she was telling me that she would have much preferred for him to have come to pick her up. No good reason, it just would have felt better. She would have felt more cherished and feminine. So is it any wonder that he then asked her for half the money to pay in the restaurant. How far away from romance has this date got?

You see girls, if you make practical decisions you will create a relationship that is built on that. So romance will be nil.

So I hear you ask what do we do?

Ok, men are simple creatures they just want you to acknowledge what they do great. So example, our single girl, how would it have been different if when she met him before he asked her out that she had asked him questions about his life and that she had told him what she admired about him?

Could it be that because he felt fantastic hearing her say that that he starts to think about how he could make this woman happy? Is it possible he could have thought...I wonder if she would love to be picked up and looked after by me on a date and how good would it feel to treat her to a fabulous meal somewhere special...

Do you see where I'm coming from girls?

And it is no different whether this is your first date or you've been married 35 years.

So, first thing is to acknowledge everything he does great. This is everything from handling the landlord/mortgage problem/restaurant booking to changing a light bulb. It could be overcoming a problem at work/having an inspired plan or saying something nice about your mother.

And watch it work every time! And guess what? That is when his whole focus will go towards romancing you.

Then you can add in his individual needs. This could be watching Top Gear with him without talking or giving him a long foot massage. Or it could be asking him how you could help him to prepare for an important business meeting. The important point here is NOT to make the decisions of what he needs for him. Always, always ask him what he wants! And then leave him to decide.

And if you are a fast pace woman you may need to practise a little patience! We call it leaving the gap. If you are really struggling, waiting for his decision, use my questions (to yourself):

'Is this a life or death situation?! Am I willing to forego passion and romance in my relationship just because I want to know now what is going to happen in the future? Could I live with the prospect of this not happening at all?

Of course it is never a life or death situation, it is always going to be about your habit of leading in this relationship. So all that has to happen is for you to kick that habit. And what will happen if you don't? My guess, more disconnection and no romance.

So girls, do let me know how this all works for you. Oh, and have a look at your beliefs. Are you imagining that this will work for everybody else except you, because your man is a lost cause. How is that belief helping?! Have a positive expectation.. trust the future... its feminine to do that.

Lots of love, Nicki x

How To Romance A Woman

2008-10-31T10:02:00.003+01:00

The biggest thing men say when they are desperately trying to make intimate relationships work is, 'How Do I Make A Woman Happy?!'

They say,'I've tried everything; What do they really want?!'

Well, here's the answer guys and it may surprise you...

1.They want you to take charge.

2.They want you to make the decisions.

3.They want you to know what a woman wants at her core.

4.They want you to know their individual needs.

So what has this got to do with ROMANCE?

Everything...

1. & 2.
So the first 2 are easy, take charge and make decisions, we've been saying that to you practically every week and we don't have to remind you what happens if you don't do we? Ok, yes what happens is woman plays up in her own unique way. That may be taking control herself, moaning, telling you what to do, or running her addictions whatever those are, etc etc...

3.
Ok, so the next biggy, what does she really want, ok lets keep it real simple, to feel safe and secure, looked after and cherished. This can be anything from walking road side on the pavement to dealing with an angry landlord. If you want your woman to be feminine and vunerable you need to protect her from the 'dragons' as we would say. And cherished, what does that look like? If you're in a relationship do the man's stuff, handle the house, garden and car maintenance, decide when you're going on that trip, solve the kids issues at school, create a fantastic surprise for her. If you're single, tell her where you're taking her and what time you're picking her up, make sure she's warm enough, take her a gift that you know she loves and you hold the tickets!

4.
And finally, find out what her individual needs are. This is as simple as remembering what film she wanted to see and what her interests are. Does she talk about art, football or fashion? All women love a surprise, even if she hates the food she is so much happier that you chose the restaurant rather than asking her to book it. All women love chocolate, flowers, cards and pretty things for their home! And if she says she doesn't, she's either lying or you have done such a shit job of looking after this woman that she's testing the hell out of you! And, if you give into it you've failed the test. The solution is to go back to point 1 & 2, take charge and make the decisions, it will always work if you do it with enough certainty about you.

Thats it, how to romance a woman. Sound like hard work guys? Well yes it requires some effort but the rewards are incredible.

Imagine spending the evening or life with a happy woman who looks up to you, shares her love with you and is looking to find out what makes you feel fantastic.

So girls, for How To Make A Man Feel Fantastic - see next weeks TNTV & Blog.

Need more information, education and solutions on this or any intimate relationship issue? go to http://www.intimaterealtionships.tv/

Love, Nicki Vee x

Intimate Stuff - When Do We Sleep Together?

2008-10-24T06:52:00.002+02:00

When Do We Sleep Together?

Once you have decided that this is the kind of person you might want to share your life with.

"What??!! Surely that's from the ark ages, we need to know if sex is good before committing!"

So let me explain why Tony and I have come to the conclusion that you need to wait, you need to get to know how each other live, you need to understand what each others patterns and behaviours are, and also what you both want.

You see, Tony and I have seen so much pain in intimate relationships because couples have 'got intimate' before they really know each other.

It throws a complete spanner in the works.

It means that you are physically as close as you can be with someone you don't know.

But thats not the big problem!

Oh god what??!!

Men and women view having sex differently.

Men, according to Tony, unless they are very evolved in which case they would definitely wait, are driven by when they can have that great feeling again. The feeling of an orgasm.

Women, and some of us lie about this, are thinking about the long term relationship, marriage, babies, houses etc etc....

A bit of a difference - Yes?

So our infamous saying is 'wait six weeks' or 'see someone 20 times'. We know that sounds old fashioned but think about it, how well has sleeping together quickly worked for you in the past?

How would it be if this time waiting works and you experience intimacy like never before....

For all your intimate relationship issues to be resolved once and for all why not consider our 5 Day Immersion in Austria? Or If you want to meet us first and start the process we are in London once a month.

Love, Nicki x

P.S. comments or questions email me on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Relationship Advice: How Do I Know If He/She Is Right For Me?

2008-10-16T21:12:00.003+02:00

How Do I Know If He/She Is Right For Me?

That's the question we get asked most often by Single Men & Women.

So here is the Top 3, short and best answers!

1. Firstly, stop judging people by their looks. The difficulty with just looking at whether this person is 'your type', fanciable or hot is that 'looks' alone will never tell you whether you are in the same energy, whether you are compatible, share the same values and outcomes in life and above all whether you are able to meet each others core and individual needs. So as Tony says, 'stop judging and get in the pool'.

2. Get in the pool - spend time with people that you are drawn to for other reasons than looks. This could be someone who is just in great energy, or someone who has a fabulous outlook on life or someone who shares the same interests as you. Getting in the pool will give you the opportunity to get to know a person and to get a very clear understanding as to whether you can get on really well, whether you have the same or similiar desires in life and whether you can both really be 'yourselves'. You see if you have a mask on, trying to be someone you're not, then you will be most likely have a relationship with his/her mask too.

3. Spend at least 20 times together before getting intimate! You may think this is a very old fashioned piece of advice BUT we have seen so many people get intimate before they really know each other and then they find it hard to continue the 'getting to know each other' process. Getting to know each other must incorporate spending time together in your natural environments, time with others around, maybe even in stressful situations. These times will give you an insight into who this person really is. Is he/she different with family or friends? Does he/she take great care of their home environment? How does he/she deal with unexpected stressful situations? We always say, see how he/she lives his/her life without you so that you can tell how easily and smoothly your lives could fit together. It is pretty impossible to be non - attached to whether this will happen or not if you have been intimate hence why we advise you to have time together without the hormones jumping around!

So that is our 1-2-3 of how to know if this is the right person for you.

Watch next week for more about when is the best time to sleep together...

Any questions? Email us on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Nicki Vee x

Relationship Advice: A Nightmare - The On/Off Relationship

2008-10-09T17:12:00.006+02:00

The interesting thing about past relationships is that we often reflect back on them and say to ourselves - what if?

What if I'd have known then what I know now.

What if he/she had been truly available to have a full on relationship with me.

What if she/he or I had got over that trauma/addiction/fear/problem - might it of actually worked out?

What if we had been living nearer to each other? had enough money? hadn't got the kids?

Well of course for many the answer is you'll never know. We can only tell you that our observation is that 'more than the issue' has to be right for it to work. In Tony and Nicki speak, 'both parties have to be at least aware if not free of their old habits and patterns and living in their core masculine/feminine energy for a relationship to stand a chance.'

But what of the people that go back, often time and time again, to the same relationship to try and make it work?

If this is you, you may be aware of the reasons but what we notice is that most people do that, go back, because of this:

One or both parties don't believe that they can have a relationship that is better than, more healthy than, one that they have had in the past. They don't feel good enough to live alone needing a relationship to feel complete and so take the easy route and return to a past relationship believing that this time it might work out. These people most often stay in a lot of what we call 'intimate connection' with their former partner so that they feel that they have 'somebody to talk to'. This intimate connection is often telling this person your intimate thoughts but not having sex. This feeds the leaver's guilt complex and sadly, the one who has been left, gets mixed messages and the crumbs of a relationship.
Another reason is that the leaver thinks that he or she can help the partner to 'get better'. This is an arrogance and feeds the passive needs of the victim who has been left. They confuse caring or fixing for attraction and committment.
The one who is left behaves in a different way whilst separated and promises that they will behave like this, consistently, if only their partner will give them a chance. Sadly the relationship is often the very thing that triggers the old behaviour and so quickily you are back where you were. Any dysfunctional behaviour is best dealt with outside of a relationship, however if you put yourself first you could change your habits and most importantly, get dramatically different results, within a relationship, as long as your partner is willing to see how they contributed to its demise.

So in summary, be realistic when you consider returning to a relationship that wasn't working and that caused you pain.

Get very aware as to what you did that caused it to 'not work' and be careful about what communication you have with your ex. Be honest, is it, 'just what needs to happen' or are you attempting to 'stay close' to meet your own needs?

Only you know the truth.

For more on this and other decisions about intimacy go now to http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/

Tony and I are here to help you now, Nicki Vee x

To View This Weeks Video Go To One Of Tony & Nicki's Channels : YouTube, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Break, DailyMotion, Blip.tv, Veoh, Crackle, Imeem and Howcast

Relationship Advice : Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

2008-10-02T22:07:00.003+02:00

In the words of the song....Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?

Here is a very common dilemma for both men and women...

The reason it is very common is that we (men and women) find it difficult to make this decision.

We have committed or semi committed to another person and now we are not sure. It isn't how it was in the beginning and now we are disconnected, not attracted to each other and often having disagreements.

So what do you do?

Well firstly you have to look at how you're behaviour has caused this relationship to deteriorate.
Then you have to stop finding the other person at fault. Then you have to speak your absolute truth.

This truth is not what you feel about him/her or what he/she has done that you can't tolerate.
It is what's been going on for you. What you have been thinking and how you have been behaving.

Because here's the truth, when we start to be disconnected from our partner and we stop being attracted to them we often start to behave differently in order to meet our own needs.

So if you are the person wanting to go you must look at what you have been doing that has caused this relationship to fail and for the intimacy to be lost.

If you are the person who is being 'left' you too must decide what you have done to drive your partner away.

The extra special magical thing that can happen when this level of truth is spoken is that the old connection can come back. It may not be enough to save the relationship but it will definitely make splitting up easier and who knows you might re-ignite the spark.

Also if you don't learn what has gone wrong in this relationship it is pretty odds on that you will repeat this unconscious behaviour and get the same result next time. Something to seriously think about...

For much, much more on this go to http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/ and join our Home Study Course. This month's video and exercises are all about this subject and how to make the decision should I stay or should I go now.

To Watch the vidoe 'Shall I Stay Or Shall I Go - go to any of Tony & Nicki's Video Channels : YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, Break, DailyMotion, Blip.tv, Veoh, Crackle, Imeem, Viddler and Howcast

Nicki Vee x

Your Blog Coach

Relationship Advice: Is It Possible To Love Too Much?

2008-09-25T18:56:00.009+02:00

What is the most difficult habit to spot that will ruin your intimate relationships but seems like 'loving' behaviour?

The pattern of Loving Too Much.

This is most common in, but not exclusive to, women.

So what does it look like and why does it ruin intimate relationships?

Ok here is why its subtle. It looks like being the perfect partner. It looks like being loving, understanding, patient and caring.

You can spot 'Women Who Love Too much' because they always have a partner who has problems. Maybe he has addictions, or he has mood swings or habits that he 'can't help'. He is always sorry when he has been difficult, aggressive, silent or he has huge problems at work again. She always lets it go, puts him first, walks on egg shells, until the next time.

All her conversations are about his challenges, how he can be so fantastic and what can she do to help him when he isn't? How can she understand his problems more so that she can 'make him better'? All the magazines and books she reads are so that she can find things that may help his situation.

Mostly she says, "but I love him." THIS IS NOT LOVE. Its not anything like what real love is between two healthy human beings. This is dysfunctional, co dependant behaviour. Women Who Love Too Much need to understand their problem is as bad as his because they are allowing this negative energy to be present in their lives and often in the lives of their children. It is all about not feeling good enough. It is all about feeling fearful that he will fall apart without you. It is all about thinking he will change if you just do more for him.

Men who are drawn to women who do this are normally in a weakened state. They look for a strong woman to 'look after' them; Of course men who go to their woman with their problems are playing the victim and if she doesn't know any better she reacts to it by 'mothering' him. This will never give them a healthy relationship, polarity or attraction.

Men do 'loving too much' too. They look for women with problems to fix and then re-enforce the behaviour by always being there to help.

Both men and women who love too much are re-enforcing this victim behaviour by helping. It is best to leave your partner to find a solution for themselves or it will never end. And it will keep happening in any future relationships unless you stop and really understand your own pattern.

We had a woman here in Austria last weekend who summed it up for me. She made the classic remark, saying, "well who else was going to clear up the mess when he came home drunk, wrecked the place and was violently sick?"

Not you honey bunch thats for sure. When are you going to put you first? When are you going to stop waiting for him to change? When are you going to stop making excuses for him? When are you going to let him know this is unacceptable?

The best thing that happened was when she started to see that she was massively contributing to the problem. When she recognised her own pattern.

When my second husband was threatening suicide because I couldn't put up with it any longer his sister phoned me and said, "Its your fault". "What?" I screamed. "Yes," she said, "if you hadn't put up with his behaviour in the first place he would have had to get himself sorted out." Well whether he would of or not, I could have saved myself years of pain and anguish for me and my son if I'd had a good long hard look at me.

So if you recognise yourself as a woman (or man) who loves too much do get in touch so that we can help you find a more empowering way to live your life and a more healthy way to share your love with another human being.

To view the video you can go to any of tony & Nicki's video channels : YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Revver, Break, DailyMotion, Blip.tv, Veoh, Crackle, Imeem, Sclipo, Viddler and Howcast

Sending you love,

Nicki Vee x

P.S. Recommended read - Women Who Love Too Much by Robyn Norwood.

Relationship Advice - Sex & Money 4

2008-09-18T12:48:00.005+02:00

Are you one of those people who others talk about saying 'Yes, He/She Has It All'?

So many people believe that if they had Loads Of Money that they could 'Have It All', that they would be happy, and that their Intimate Relationship Problems would go away!

If only that were true!

Both Tony and I have experienced being very wealthy in our lives and we can both emphatically tell you that it does not equal happiness especially in your intimate relationships!

Why is that?

Well it's often different for men and women ...

For men, having loads of money can often mean that they can easily attract women or that a woman will stay with them for security or because of their great lifestyle. This is because some of the qualities that cause a man to be successful financially are often seen as very 'masculine' by women. This could be their certainty and confidence in themselves, their power to influence others and their ability to 'have what they want'.

The problem is that, in many cases, their other behaviour does not meet their partners needs at all. This can be an inordinately high drive for more success and/or more sex, an addiction to various things that help them 'come down' from the stresses of their business life and/or constantly being drawn to distractions such as sport, the pub, television, more work and worst case, other women. These behaviours leave little or no time to nurture a new relationship or sustain the attraction within a longer term one. Often women feel second best to 'the business' or even his hobbies and can become demanding, needy, nagging and sometimes even drawn to create their own 'separate life'.

All of this can look like a dream life from the outside but, if the wealthy couples that we coach are anything to go by, this can lead to massive disconnection, mistrust, constant arguing and a lack of true intimacy.

So men, you want to know the answer?

Put the same kind of attention to loving your woman that you would give to your business. Find out her real needs. Often what she says she wants is only the surface need and of course the mistake many rich men make is to try to 'buy' peace, harmony and a happy woman! Give her your time and your certainty about life with you that is not linked to your bank account. Don't try to please her, live the life you want to live or she will never really 'trust you', if she can sway you she will believe the world can. Oh, and learn what it takes to really make love to a woman, this is very different than having sex!

Now I know that sounds a bit confusing, women are complicated beings, so why not call us for more clarity! Tony always says it took him a long time to really learn this stuff but the rewards are unbelievable...

So women who 'have it all', what happens for them?

Can they have it all, or like the men, do they find that in many cases that having a lot of money negatively affects their love life?

Sadly yes, the women that we have coached all say the same. I have it all except for a great relationship!

So why is this? Well fundamentally most women who have made it financially have used quite a lot of masculine traits in order to be successful. This is attractive to more 'feminine' men and a complete turn off to 'masculine' men. You see even if a woman attracts a man who is equally successful there will not be the polarity/attraction long term because he doesn't really want to be 'equal' (the same) or in competition with his intimate partner.

So I hear you ask what the hell do we do? We don't want to be with a feminine man who depends on us and we want to be with a masculine man who loves us as we are.

Well there are two stages - firstly of course you can be successful in your own right BUT you need to learn to do that in a feminine way so that you have polarity with a masculine man. You need to take your right foot off the accelerator (gas pedal)! My experience was that as soon as I stopped pushing, driving, striving and forcing for more success that I started to feel and act more feminine and I DID NOT become any less successful by doing that, in fact, I earned more! I also felt more at peace and more relaxed. I definitely showed up differently with men and therefore miraculously started to attract a completely different kind of man.

Secondly, I put my attention towards my social, relationship and home life rather than fit it around work as I had in the past. I put 'him' first and my work didn't suffer at all. My selection process was much better though, I chose to spend time with men that I respected and admired.
Eventually he found me and my life and work fitted perfectly into his.

This is what worked for me as a successful, single woman and the same will work for you if you are in a relationship with a successful man. True intimacy and long term attraction will happen if you 'let him be the man', trust him to look after you and learn to be in your feminine but be careful that does not look needy or demanding. If you need more clarification on that email me now!

And finally if you are a successful woman who is in a relationship with a man who is not, you may be concerned as to how this relationship can work better. Its a little complicated to handle in full here but look at the options listed above that apply to single women and do the same. Probably the only way that this relationship will work is for you to let go of being 'in charge' and to absolutely know that underneath he is a real man who has just lost his way. The way to assist him to get back on track is to let go yourself and to ask him for help. All real men respond magnificently to a woman asking for help. And if he doesn't then maybe we do need to talk...

Finally woman who are successful can often find it complicated in the bedroom too. They are either very confident and getting a lot of sex that isn't fulfilling as its more like sexual athletics or they are too busy and tired for any sex at all. Being feminine means being taken and being loved by a man physically, if you are in charge this cannot happen and you won't be fulfilled. Get the message?

Whatever your situation please know that Tony and I are available for a complimentary 30 minute consultation. I know we can help you, in our experience there is no relationship problem that cannot be resolved with some time and commitment.

To view the video please go to any tony and Nicki video channel : YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, DailyMotion, Blip.tv, Veoh, Crackle, Imeem, Sclipo, Viddler and Howcast

Speak soon, Nicki Vee x

Relationship Advice: Sex & Money Challenges 3

2008-09-04T17:28:00.003+02:00

Just enough to get by… Inside and outside the bedroom! Men or women who have just enough money to get by are normally hooked on security, safety and certainty. They have probably been bought up to think that as long as they make sure they are safe financially that they will be happy. How wrong can they be?

If this is you, this belief and pattern of behavior has probably caused you to attract someone who thinks the same and when the financials are ‘just enough’ you both expect to be happy but you’re not.

Why is that? Because the doubt, worry, boredom and anxiousness about money, or about losing the job, or about the business failing, or the house not selling, or the investment falling will keep a man’s mind on everything but romance and a woman’s mind just full!

Hence it affects the bedroom too! Life and sex often becomes boring because both of you are thinking about everything else, not each other. Even in bed women will be thinking about the kids, the mortgage payments, the car needing servicing... everything apart from her man and his physical needs.

So a solution for both of you is togetherness time when you don't think about the financials and you don’t talk about how you are going to get safe financially long term.
Sharing what is fabulous for you both (Tony and I call it our ‘magic moments’) and what you are grateful for, and what you love about each other the most, will move you into a state where romance, love making and connection are at their highest.

Just enough to get by makes me think of that great expression: Your problems are somebody else’s dreams – think about it. Put’s everything into perspective doesn’t it?

Singles only have to consider one thing: What you give out you get back, what you focus on is what you get…so whatever is going on in your head will affect what or who you attract. If you are in ‘getting by mode’ you are probably not attractive to the opposite sex because everyone is looking for someone who is ‘having a great life’, including you!

Practice gratitude, imagine a rosy future or as the song says, ‘always look on the bright side of life’!

Need to chat more about this?

Email us or leave a comment…Nicki Vee x

To watch Sex & Money Challenges YouTube, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
http://www.intimaterelationships.tv/

Relationship Advice: Money Problems = Sex Problems

2008-08-26T17:13:00.004+02:00

Are you In Debt, on the brink of financial bankruptcy or just plain fed up with working to just make ends meet? Man or woman, this kind of pressure and stress is most definitely affecting your lovelife!

Men do you notice that when you have money problems that you are either off sex completely or addicted to it? If it’s the former, ‘off sex’, that is probably because you are down, working all the time and stressing to ‘get money’ so the last thing you seem to be able to do is show up in a great way to romance a woman. If on the other hand you seem addicted to sex that is probably because you don’t feel good about yourself as a man (because you are not providing for yourself or a woman the kind of life you want to) and the only time you feel good is when you orgasm. The third alternative is that you try and please a woman by getting her to orgasm a lot giving you a feeling of being successful at something. None of these is good for women.

If you’re single and looking to be in a relationship notice how healthy women are not attracted to you. This is because they can tell that you are depressed about your situation and so will move away from you. Unhealthy women (either in debt too or have money and want to mother you or fix your problems) may be attracted to you but this is unlikely to lead to a great relationship because it is way out of balance. If you are in a relationship being down and either moody or detached or talking about your problems to your partner is a recipe for disconnection inside and outside of the bedroom.

So of course, as we said before, the solution is to get things sorted out. And you might ask, HOW? Most men in this situation say ‘Well, unless I get money in the bank how can I be in a good place and have a great relationship with a fantastic woman?

Here’s how… You need to access your core masculinity. You see, it's never about £’s (or €’s or $’s!) it’s about how you show up as a man. Firstly you might want to answer these questions:

• Are you able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and, if not, what would it look like?

• Have you had help from a man that has handled this part of his life?

• Are you living the best life you can in the circumstances or are you fed up and turning to addictions such as alcohol, smoking, food, drugs, television, gambling or sex?

• How are you managing your life? Do you have your financial situation clearly recorded and organised?

• How would you handle your situation if you focused on nothing else?

It’s a fact; it's not the size of your bank account that matters, you could still be in debt but in the process of getting everything handled, be showing up in a great way and be able to have a positive effect on a woman.

Now, women who are in debt and struggling financially are most likely to be off sex and/or not having much success in intimate relationships. If you are, however, reacting to money issues by looking to sex to make you feel better it is probably because you are acting more like a man in all areas of life. Women who are depressed, stressed or worried all the time repel men!

A single woman needs to do nothing else but find a way to be good with her situation whatever it is. A woman’s core feminine needs are for good relationships so to focus negatively on money will only serve to give you a life that will not meet your core needs. Put simply, a happy woman is the most attractive thing to a man and it doesn’t matter how well she is handling her finances as long as she is happy. Can you see the difference between men and women? Men need to be ‘handling things’ women need to be ‘accepting things’.

If you are a woman in a relationship it is also going to be about your reaction to your financial situation. If you have your own money the solution is definitely to be good with where you are but how would it be that the solution is to give your partner ‘the problem’? I can almost hear the gasps of ‘oh my god, I couldn’t!’ Yes even if he is also not in a good place financially himself, he is a man and men respond to solving problems. If you have joint money issues you must leave him to sort it all out! If you nag, he feels worse, if you try and help him, he feels worse, if you find a solution, he feels terrible! Get the message?

Now to be honest there are men out there who would go to pieces if either their girlfriend gave them a financial problem to solve or their partner stopped taking responsibility for the money but that should not stop you asking for help or letting go of the problem. You may be pleasantly surprised and if not you may want to ask the question: Is this relationship meeting my needs?

So girls, all this will definitely affect your lovelife. Letting go, asking for help, stopping worrying, being happy etc will all have a magical affect on who you attract if you’re single, and how connected you are if you’re attached.

So man or woman, single or attached, if you are having money problems you need to look seriously at the solutions offered in this Blog and on our Money & Sex Videos on TNTV.

And we are seriously suggesting our Home Study Course which will help you handle all areas of your life which in turn will affect your relationships and your bank account of course!

So, any questions for Tony or I, email us on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Love, Nicki Vee x

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Relationship Advice : Sex & Money Challenges

2008-08-18T20:29:00.005+02:00

So here's the thing - Money problems = Sex problems

And it doesn't matter how much you've got!

You might be In Debt and on the brink of financial bankruptcy, getting just about enough to get by or you may have loads of money - whatever your situation it could seriously be affecting your lovelife!

Men who have little or no money are often either completely off sex because they are so worried about their situation or they are addicted to sex to get a quick, if not fulfilling high, that makes them feel good, just for a second or two. A healthy woman is never going to be attracted to a man who has not got his 'act together' financially but unhealthy women (who have their lives sorted) are often looking for a man to 'look after' so that they can mother or fix his problems. So of course the solution is to get things sorted out. Using masculine energy, certainty about yourself and finding practical solutions that work will get you quickly into the kind of energy that will attract abundance and a healthy woman. It’s a fact, it's not the size of your bank account that matters, you could still be in debt but getting everything handled, and be very attractive to Mrs. Right.

Women who are in debt and struggling financially usually get themselves into a low energy state of despair. Some may show a 'brave face' but your negativity about your lot is bound to put a good man off you. Men will still have sex with you but not the right man (or a man in good energy) and you may just be feeding off the crumbs of a relationship or still seeing an old flame. Men can feel your neediness and so are not attracted to it. The solution for you is to be completely ok with whatever your present situation is. You see he may come along and sweep you off your feet or help you out as long as you don't seem to be needy of that. Your 'brave face' needs to be a 'happy face' too or your energy will turn him off.

Men or women who have just enough money to get by are normally hooked on security. This is probably going to show up in the bedroom as 'just having enough to get by' too! Why is that? Because the doubt, worry and anxiousness about losing the job, the business failing, the house not selling, the investment falling will keep a man’s mind on everything but romance. Sex often becomes boring because both of you are thinking about everything else, not each other. Most commonly women are worried about the kids, the mortgage payments, the car needing servicing... everything apart from her man and his physical needs. So a solution for both of you is togetherness time when you don't talk about how you are going to be safe financially long term.

Men who seem to 'have it all' are often too busy either making more money or holding onto what they've got to put quality time into their relationship. They often find it easy to get sex as either a single of attached man but it’s all too easy just like earning money. What he needs to learn about is LOVE. The kind of sexual highs he gets from sex or money will be nothing to what he could have if he learnt to really 'love'.

Women who have it all are like a magnet to men who haven't! She shows up as successful at everything she does but sleeps alone at night even if her bed is full! She is so 'in charge' of her life and can be 'in charge' of him too inside and outside of the bedroom that she actually repels healthy men. You see he wants at least to feel that he can make you happy by giving you something that you didn't get yourself. The solution is to learn about letting go, trust and true femininity. Letting a man lead you in any circumstance is a good first step. Trust him to do something for you that you would normally do yourself! The ultimate let go is to let him make all the decisions in bed too!

So yes money and sex are interdependent, a healthy approach to money will give you a healthy lovelife too.

To watch Sex & Money Challenges #1 YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast

Or View from Tony & Nicki's Homepage at http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Nicki Vee

Sex Chat #4 How To Spot A Princess

2008-08-08T19:10:00.005+02:00

This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.

This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.

This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.

So what is this information that is so crucial? In this Blog (and on our current TNTV) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a woman is 'a princess'.

Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, what if I am not with one or women thinking, what if I'm not one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what she's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.

1. A Princess shows up in her unique femininity and she uses feminine body language and tonality. This looks like soft, relaxed, flowing body movements, a smile, no piercing eye contact and a gentle handshake. She speaks in a calm way and has a light, tender tone of voice. She is happy to let go of control to you and is not focused or driven towards ambitious goals. Her attention is more focused on you and she speaks with trust about her needs, her life and her dreams.

2. A Princess asks men questions and is interested in others. This is the opposite of a woman (see 'a bit of a nightmare') who is always focused on herself and her problems. She asks questions in a non challenging or competitive way. They are questions that give you the opportunity to share your thoughts and beliefs and her the opportunity to know and understand you more. With men, in particular, she acknowledges his achievements without comparing to hers. She shows appreciation for how a man takes care of her needs in a non demanding way. She talks about the kind of characteristics that she admires in him and, if in intimacy with this man, what she adores about him the most. When asked for what she needs a princess tells a man what she loves and lets him provide it!

3. A Princess loves and respects her own body. Whilst considering others a princess creates her own time to pamper and take care of herself. She is aware of the effects of what she eats and how she moves on her energy and so takes daily care of her body. She, in most cases, nurtures herself with healthy food and drinks except, maybe, for the odd glass of wine and of course chocolate! A princess respects her body and so she is not one to indulge addictively (smoking, drinking, food) and she makes physically and emotionally healthy decisions as to when to share a bed with a man. She also is not obsessed with being in a relationship, she would rather wait for Mr. Right or decide against staying in a dysfunctional relationship.

4. A Princess’s life flows with radiant happiness. She loves what she does and she does what she loves. She is trusting of whatever the universe deals her. So if her company closes down she sees it as a good thing! Whether in a job or in business her days flow effortlessly and she has balance in the way she manages her time and work. You never see a princess running (unless exercising!) rushing, stressed and in a tiz. She has very healthy, positive beliefs and is not driven by security and money.

5. A Princess loves the role of ‘the princess’. She loves and wants to be the supporter/nuturer/carer to your hunter/provider/protector. She yearns to be the soft feminine to your strong masculine. She appears, as if magically, to know intuitively how to be the yang to your ying. She is happy and comfortable as the follower to your leader. She understands and desires to fully surrender to her rock, her king, her knight in shining armour.

Nicki Vee

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

You can view the video, 'How To Spot A Princess' on any of our video channels : YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, DailyMotion, Sclipo and Howcast

How would it be if all our challenges came from us asking ourselves crap questions?

2008-07-29T15:34:00.008+02:00

What might your life be like if you had better internal communications with you?

Could this be when your relationship becomes exactly how you would love it to be?

Just a few Empowering Questions from Nicki Vee x

How is this perfect?

What's the learning here?

Is this decision taking me nearer or further away from my vision/dream?

How would it be if I could?

What's great about this?

What is it that I don't know?

What needs to happen for me to... ?

What would I have to believe to feel this way?

My hallucination is that the best way forward is...

How specifically do I want this to be, look, go?

How is this, (behaviour, person, situation) a mirror of me?

Am I making this better or worse than it really is?

What's the truth?

What's really going on here?

Could it be that this is the way it's meant to be?

What meaning am I attaching to this?

What could this mean?

What would love do?

How is this meeting my needs?

What am I getting from staying in this situation?

What is the emotional reason why this physical thing has happened?

What am I grateful for?

If I did the opposite what could happen?

What 3 major ways is this going to permanently f..k up my life?!

Do let me know what effect these questions have on your state, life and of course specifically your intimate relationships!

Nicki Vee x

Your Blog Coach

P.S. Last question I promise, what crappy question are you constantly and persistently asking yourself? Mine was, Why don't things happen for me? Can you imagine what results that got me?!

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Sex Chat - #3 - How To Spot A Knight In Shining Armor

2008-07-20T11:54:00.004+02:00

This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.

This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.

This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.

So what is this information that is so crucial?

Over the next 2 Blogs (and on our next 2 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a knight in shining armor' or a woman is 'a princess'.

So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving like 'a knight in shining armor'.

Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, what if I am not one or women thinking, what if I'm not with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.

1. A knight in shining armor has his own life together.... This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled is something she can look up to, respect and sign up for. A knight in shining armor doesn't do the 'plonker' things like ask women for help and he totally understands that she is looking for a man who is strong, resourceful and can handle any problem.

Girls, if you're single and you notice this behaviour - this is a fantastic sign! If you're attached - good choice!

2. A knight in shining armor is confident, calm and he gets on with people... This is an almost intangible quality that great men have and the good news guys is that it can be learnt! All that you need to do is get addicted to getting out of stress without getting obsessive and find a way to get in rapport with everyone, even your mother! A woman will absolutely love being with you as you have no stress or disconnection in your life and she really wants to live like that.

Girls, easy to spot - and please no 'he's got potential' excuses, he's either living like this or not! If you live with a man like this don't forget to acknowledge him like mad!

3. A knight in shining armor compliments and cherishes women. He will take a woman's needs into consideration at all times and treat her like a princess. He takes the lead and he understands that women want to be 'looked after' and protected. He compliments her on how she looks and how she interacts with others. He gets what women really want and then 'like a detective' he finds out what her individual needs are!

Girls, if he remembers that you love Chinese food or The Sound of Music just from one conversation this is a man who is comfortable in himself and so 'available' to look after you.

4. A knight in shining armor knows how to 'love a woman'. Ok this is a bit more subtle. A knight in shining armor is not on the lookout for sex he is interested in finding his princess to share his life with. So this will look like 'taking his time' to get to know a woman, deciding if she is the right one and then asking her to be with him. If he is in a relationship he will make special time for her and he will know how to make love to her fully. He gives her the certainty inside and outside the bedroom that he knows she loves and creates a life/or date that princesses dream of.

Girls, you know whether a man is just wanting sex or he actually wants to be with you/stay with you. If he is not showing up in the way described I have to ask you the question - why would you want to be with this man?

5. A knight in shining armor has no addictions. He is happy to mostly eat and drink healthily, he doesn't get ill often so does not depend on any drugs and he has no private sexual habits. This is normally fairly obvious from his behaviour and language. He understands that addiction is a 'lack of self control'. Even an addiction to work, sport or exercise is not good for women! A knight in shining armor has no problem spending time alone and so he is unlikely to have one of those relationship hopping histories. He doesn't move from one woman to another with no gap and he has acquired massive awareness about mans tendency to look outside his relationships for intimacy.

Trust that has been useful for both men and women.

If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.

Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!

Speak soon,

Nicki Vee x

How to Attract a Fabulous Woman

2008-07-19T19:28:00.000+02:00

If, as a man, you feel that you're not getting the attention you want from women or you’re not getting the attention you want from the right kind of women...here's what you need to do..

You may be surprised by this!

So here are the top 3 things all women are looking for in a man...these will turn her head towards you… you just have to get close enough…

· Get your own life sorted... she wants to look up to you, respect you, feel safe around you...when we tell women how to select a man we say look at how he leads his life... so if your life isn’t great do something now!

· Compliment her! On her appearance, her personality, her friendships, her wacky artifacts but never ever compliment her on her achievements unless you want her to focus on them 24/7

· Take the lead at all times... this means book the restaurant, be the driver, help her with her problems, get her a cab… and don’t ask her for help!

I guarantee if you do this she will be blown away by your masculinity and she will be drawn to be around you...

Tony Vee

Check out the 7 Big Mistakes on www.tonyandnickivee.com

How to Attract an Amazing Man

2008-07-19T19:08:00.001+02:00

If, as a woman, you feel that you're not getting the attention you want from men or you’re not getting the attention you want from the right kind of men...here's what you need to do..

You may be surprised by this!

So here are the top 3 things all men are looking for in a woman...these will turn his head towards you… you just have to get close enough…

· Acknowledge him for how he handles everything and anything... be it his house sale, a problem at work, how he looks after his kids, getting a cab! Even the very little things, like ordering a drink….add in some appreciation and he will be wondering why he feels so good around you and will want more...
· You being happy! Yes believe it or not HE feels happy if you are....he is attracted to your happiness…unconsciously he feels responsible for it even if he isn't...and the reverse applies, if you look unhappy he feels it too, so he will move away from you.
· Let him lead at all times... girls, you need to learn to leave a gap so that he can look after you… so stop taking care of everything yourself or he feels like he has no job! And so ask him for help… and never ever give him advice or ideas…
I guarantee if you do this he will feel fantastic and will start to give you the kind of attention you want...

Love, Nicki Vee x

P.S. If you are thinking yes Nicki but I've heard all this before and it hasn't worked yet I can guarantee you are not doing it well, especially nos 2!!

for more info on what to do go to the 7 big mistakes on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Sex Chat - # 2 - How to Spot a Nightmare Woman

2008-07-12T08:16:00.007+02:00

This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.

This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.

This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great Love, Sex & Intimate life.

So what is this information that is so crucial?

Over the next 3 Blogs (and on our next 3 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' (a knight in shining armour)or a woman is 'a dream woman' (a princess). If you missed Sex Chat #1 - How to Spot a Plonker, go back to the blog, men and women are saying its incredible!

So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a woman is 'a bit of a nightmare'.

Now before you start to panic, girls thinking, maybe I am one or men thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what she's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.

1. A Nightmare normally has her own life completely sorted.

Girls, you are probably saying - what the hell is wrong with that? Well, here's the unspoken (up until now) truth! You see women want to feel safe BUT the problem is that women nowadays use all of their masculine energy to get so safe that it makes them unattractive to men. His unconscious is not drawn to look after you because you are doing it all for yourself. The next big problem with this is that this is very attractive to a wimp or a plonker. Think about it - are you available for a real man to sweep you off your feet or do you have a thousand golden handcuffs around you to make you feel safe?

Guys, if you spot a woman who is living like this (certainty freaks we call them)steer clear. If you are drawn to be with her because it would give you the kind of security you desire - that is crap! Stop that - get your own life together and then find a woman who is healthy and available for you to look after. Otherwise she will be 'like a mother to you' and she will try and control you and she will keep taking over - you don't want that do you? If you are with a woman who does this you need to step up and take charge.

2. A Nightmare woman is a victim.

Girls, if in your life you feel like nothing seems to go right for you, or if you are often ill or if your family and friends always need you and you fall out with people then you are running a victim pattern. Tell the truth do you talk to other women about your man and what he doesn't do or how you can't find a good man? If this is you, stop it! What we put out we get back. What we think and talk about will be our experience. Until you stop 'enjoying' the connection that having problems gives you you are never going to be happy or in a great relationship!

Guys, if you are dating a woman and she starts to tell you her problems, challenges, who she is upset with or how this happened to her - bad sign. This will be your life. Never try and sort out the problems for her or they will never end. And you will be giving her mixed messages. She will think that you want to 'sort out her messes for life!' If you are with a victim don't re enforce it. You have to be clear that these are not real problems and that everything will be fine. Tony always says if you are not being masculine she will keep testing you. Victim is all a test. Move towards her in a healthy way and she 'might' stop doing it. If she doesn't stop it you might want to follow through of what you've been secretly thinking about - are you willing to live your life like this?

3. A Nightmare worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.

Girls, notice this is the same wording as no 3. of how to spot a plonker. You see if you are stressed you will probably have attracted a man who is the same. So then the whole relationship becomes stressed. You are also probably doing what I mentioned in nos 1. and getting certainty for yourself. Now this is not healthy I feel good about myself certainty, this is unhealthy, fear based I must have the house paid for, I must have a cast iron pension and I must have a job/business/relationship that is guaranteed for life certainty! Now this doesn't mean you have to be penniless, destitute and needy (in fact that is very unattractive to a man too unless he is into rescuing/taking on women as a project) you just need to be healthily ok. Just easily and effortlessly living a great life, doing what you love, not attached to security or your relationship, no worry, doubt and stress - just you, happy and free of fear. Now thats what a real man is looking to be with.

Guys, if the women you are attracted to are stressed out and looking for masses of certainty - these woman are going to be a nightmare to live with. Her certainty needs will never be met and she will be always be trying to get security for you too.

If you are with a woman who is like this, you need to step up. You need to take charge and give her the kind of feelings of certainty that she has been trying to give to herself. One word of caution, if your woman has a 'very unhealthy' need for security (she needs massive amounts of money to feel safe or she needs you to tell her where you are at all times etc)don't give into that, you will be re-enforcing unhealthy behaviour. Just be really firm with her that she is safe with you and carry on living life in a way that meets your needs. Those needs must be healthy too don't forget - see how to spot a plonker to make sure!

4. A Nightmare acts passive aggressive.

Girls, you know if you are doing this. Do you try to make him feel guilty if he doesn't give you as much attention as you want? Do you 'look after him' but only so that he will do things for you? Do you manipulate his decisions by using 'false feminine' behaviour? This looks like 'poor me', I don't have my needs met, whiny kind of language - get the picture? The reason why we use the expression passive aggressive is because it has a soft passive look about it but it has aggression underneath. And the reason why this behaviour is so subtle and difficult to spot is because it looks a bit like 'archetype' femininity. Of course it isn't feminine at all its very dangerous behaviour because it may get you want you want but then you have control of your man and in worse cases a man who feels controlled will fight back. Hence the reason why many passive aggressives attract macho men. Get some help.

Guys, do you recognise any of this behaviour described above in your woman or the women you are attracted too? I have to tell you we have had many of these women at our retreat and they were all taught by mum most commonly to put on this behaviour to get a man. Here's the bad news - they are often the most attractive! The reason for this is that they overuse their sexuality/unhealthy femininity to attract and 'snare a man' and then use their sexuality to keep him and its usually all one way traffic. If you are with a woman like this and you are letting her control you this way you won't be feeling like a man and you may be getting your masculine needs met elsewhere - yes? So if not giving into her doesn't work - get out!

5. A Nightmare is a drama queen

Girls, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to drama? do you constantly talk about all the dreadful things that happened to you as a child? do you believe you were somehow abused? does life always deal you some mammoth issue to deal with? are all your converstions with your girlfriends about the latest thing that he did that you reacted badly to? if so you are a drama queen honey bunch! Now there is one sure fire way to stop this now and its easy - stop living in the past and don't make something worse than it is. I promise you that if you do this you will attract less drama into your life and your relationships will become less volatile.This could be hard at first because some women are addicted to drama and life may seem dull in comparison. Hang in there, its much healthier and will bring long term happiness.

Guys, easy to spot, difficult not to get into a relationship with! Why? because these women are normally feisty, fun and seemingly happy. But the truth is there will always be something not quite right, something needing to be got over and always it will be at the centre of life. A bit like the victim pattern this woman may have accidents, illnesses, problems with the kids, fall outs with people and normally big parent issue stuff. If you are with a woman like this you are going to need to be like a rock, immovable, unflappable, centered, stoic and strong. All the qualities you need to handle any woman but you may need to turn the dial right up for drama queens!

So there we have it, Sex Chat - #2 - How to Spot a Nightmare Woman.

Trust that has been useful for both men and women.

If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.

Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!

Please see our TNTV videos on any of the following :- YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast

Speak soon,

Nicki Vee x

Do I Compromise?

2008-07-11T17:15:00.003+02:00

One of the most Frequently Asked Questions, and it most commonly comes from people is a very new relationship is, Do I Compromise?

Well simply answered if you want to be in an 'ok' relationship that you would score between 5 and 7 on a scale of 0 - 10 then yes go ahead and compromise your needs or values. But, be warned, its most likely to stay at a 5 - 7, and it will probably get worse.

Why is that? Well again the short answer is that in everybody's '10' is the phrase 'he/she loves and accepts me exactly as I am'. And so if we modify/compromise or adjust our values we do not feel good about ourselves. It's like we did a deal with ourselves long ago that we will be ourselves even if that means that it is not 'a good fit' with someone we want to be with. So the reason it often deteriorates is that we kind of resent what we have had to do differently just because it didn't suit our partner. Resentment is 'red' and so will always cause disconnection.

I was coaching someone today who is in a new relationship where the man is asking the woman to stop behaving in a certain way that doesn't meet his values and beliefs. Now she sees no wrong in what she is doing. So are either of them right or wrong about the actual thing? No, of course not, its just a difference in values and beliefs. The danger is, if there is attachment to this man, that she is likely to compromise to 'keep the peace'. My hallucination is that it won't stop there. What happens the next time? Does she compromise again? So often people will talk about this being like living on egg shells.

So there is no rule book of what is right or wrong. There is only your needs. So my answer is no, don't compromise. Better to find someone who shares your values and beliefs!

Oh and last thing and this is what I counselled this young lady to do today - Remember to tell the other person what you have decided from a 'green' space. What does that look like? It means to not make them wrong, it means to own your decision and it means to be loving. I guarantee that the relationship will benefit from this whether you are meant to be together or not.

Nicki Vee x

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Girls, Are you in a new relationship? You might want to check out this weeks You Tube video - How To Spot A Plonker!

Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker

2008-07-09T17:38:00.009+02:00

This Unique Information is invaluable for Men & Women.

This Unique Information is invaluable whether you are Single or Attached.

This Unique Information is invaluable to you as it will guarantee you a great love, sex & intimate life.

So what is this information that is so crucial?

Over the next 4 Blogs (and on our next 4 TNTV's) we are going to give you the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a plonker' or a woman is 'a nightmare' and then the top 5 ways of spotting whether a man is 'a real man' or a woman is 'a princess'.

So today - the top 5 ways to spot whether a man is behaving 'like a plonker'.

Now before you start to panic, guys thinking, maybe I am one or women thinking, maybe I'm with one, let me explain that any behaviour is liable to be coming from habit or programming (what he's been taught) or fear and so can be changed at any time just by being aware of it.

1. A Plonker does not have his own life together.

Guys if this is you, get a plan, get some help, stop trying to please everyone else and above all be good with what you want to do and when. This is the most attractive thing about a man to a woman, forget tall, dark and handsome, having everything handled for you is something she can look up to and sign up to.

Girls, if a man does not have his own life together, leave him alone to sort it out! So many women take men on as a project, give him advice, take care of him, protect him from problems or nag him to death about it. This is the worst thing you can do. If you're single this is not the man for you, if you're attached leave him to it and get on with your own life (acting like a princess of course)

2. A Plonker asks women for help.

Guys if this you, stop it! If you really need help go to an expert or someone else, just not another plonker! You see asking a woman puts you in a slightly inferior position. You might ask, what's wrong with that? Well the answer is everything, and I don't mean you have to be superior either, but if you want to be intimate with this woman you have to understand that woman are looking for a man who is strong and resourceful and can handle problems. Asking her for help makes her feel like you need her and thats not healthy. It feels to her like you need mothering, and you don't want that do you?

Girls, if he keeps asking you for help stop responding! He will soon realise that you are not going to give it to him and either he will 'step up' or not. Again if you're single this is not the man for you and if you're attached stop responding to his questions. A great answer is, 'you'll know what to do' or 'you are so good at that kind of thing'. Oh and don't fall into the trap of making allowances if you are more expert at something than him. Let him find someone else to help him or you may find yourself at best 'good friends' and at worst, like a couple who were close to divorce said, 'two people sharing a house who argue a lot and never make love!'

3. A Plonker worries, doubts, frets and is stressed.

Guys if this is you firstly you might want to look at the results you're getting. Seriously, and this may sound like airy fairy nonsense, the way you think will have a direct affect on your results. Secondly, notice your own language. If you are using tonality that sounds stressed and language that normally starts with, 'the problem is' or 'isn't it awful that' or 'nothing ever seems to go the way I want it' or anything like those phrases know that you are likely to firstly get poor results and secondly you are likely to attract or stay with a woman who does the same. So as the Americans say, 'go figure' - you may want to make some fast changes.

Girls, if he looks and sounds worried, stressed and what we would call 'not in a good place' don't make it worse! What do I mean? Well our biggest habit is to try and fix him by either going into the more 'masculine' role of 'giving logical advice' or 'helping him by being really focused' or even worse, 'taking the problem off him' or by mothering him. Mothering looks like making him comfortable, cooking him his favourite meal, and saying 'poor thing'! Either is a recipe for him staying down as your behaviour makes him feel even worse about himself. Single? - this is a very bad sign, so not for you. Attached? leave him alone and give him space - don't re-enforce it unless you want this behaviour for the rest of your life.

4. A Plonker acts macho or feminine.

Guys, any form of verbal or physical aggression is not cool and it frightens women. Whether you do it directly at her or at someone else or at life it shows you to be an angry man who is out of control and actually full of fear. Get some help, talk to my amazing husband, in confidence, book some time with him now. The opposite of course is that you act feminine. This normally shows up as softly spoken and very meek and mild, allowing the world to dictate your actions and things 'happen to you'. In NLP terms you are at 'effect' not 'cause'. Best course of action is to really learn what healthy masculine behaviour looks like and know that that will get you success in life and with women. A great book for you will be 'Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida.

Girls, if you are with or attracted to a macho man, we need to talk. Hey, I have no judgement, as I did this for near on 20 years. Look these men have problems that you cannot fix and so the worst thing you can do is accept this behaviour or try and fight it. Please contact me, I promise I can help, and in the meantime try telling him the truth, but hold on, not from your anger or by being passive or a victim, this will have definitely evoked more macho behaviour in the past. Its classic victim/aggressor, co-dependant behaviour. A must read for you is 'Women Who Love Too Much' by Robyn Norwood. My first book ever, changed my life.

And girls if you are considering a relationship with a feminine man, know that you will always be taking the lead, know that you will not be having your feminine core needs met. So its again a no no. If you are in a relationship with a man who is behaving in a way that we might describe as 'feminine' there is only one solution. You must stop being masculine/mothering with him, that looks like taking charge, organising everything, making plans, making the decisions, often its also handling the money for you both. You need to learn to 'leave the gap'. That means if its not done or arranged you do nothing. My quick tip for handling this, and it can be a bit difficult at first, is to ask yourself - whats the worst that can happen? or - is this a life or death situation? it so rarely is of course so you can just leave it to him. He will start doing things, you'll be amazed, and notice how he grows in stature with his newly acquired power. Book for you - 'Surrendered Wife' by Laura Doyle. Don't be put off by the title its actually very good practical advice.

5. A Plonker has addictions.

Guys, tell yourself the truth, are you addicted to or drawn regularly to alcohol or smoking or food or drugs (illegal, prescription or off the shelf) or sex? If so this is not the kind of behaviour that a healthy woman is drawn to. It feels to her as if you 'need things outside of yourself to get by'. Now I don't mean the odd pint, glass of wine or aspirin but if you are a smoker or a regular binge drinker or you take packets of tablets or you have a penchant for a lot of porn this is very likely to get you into a relationship or living long term with a woman who does the same. This means that both of you will be drawn to things other than each other and that will lead to massive disconnection, rows and very possibly infidelity. Both of you will be searching outside of your relationship for fulfilment and that's never going to give you what you really want.

Girls if he has addictions you might want to consider whether this is the relationship for you. The difficulty with addictions is that whilst they are easy to justify, for example so many people say, well a few drinks relaxes you or the more sex you have the better, it never seems to work out like that in real life. Your life will be affected by his addictions. They will anesthetise him to you, and more importantly to the truth. He might avoid difficult situations and avoid real intimacy. If you are intent on staying then you could let him know how you feel and then make sure you do not tell him to stop. Acknowledge what he does do that you love and you could be surprised, that may make him feel so good that he decides to stop whatever he is addicted too. The key here is that he decides, that is the only thing that will work long term.

So there we have it, Sex Chat - #1 - How to Spot a Plonker.

Trust that has been useful for both men and women.

If you want more information go straight to our website on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click on the 7 Big Mistakes and it will give you, through our 'Horrifying Report', access to the 7 Big Relationship Solutions DVD Pack; now on 30 day free trial, all you have to do is pay post and package.

Or also on our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ click to book a 30 minute consultation with Tony or myself or both of us!

Please see our video's on any of the following :- YouTube, Google, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast

Speak soon,

Nicki Vee x

How To Make Him Crazy About You - Your Blog Coach x

2008-07-08T19:04:00.010+02:00

Ok this was one of the questions that came into our website last week -

How do I make him crazy about me?

You know what, that question is so common; 2 women coaching clients this week also described behaviour from men as 'disinterested', 'not committed' or just 'he doesn't seem into me'.

So here's the quick answer:-

There are 2 things that may be causing this.

One is that he actually isn't interested. Maybe he doesn't want to behave in a way that he would if he was crazy about you, maybe he doesn't want to be with you, maybe he doesn't want to ravish you or look after you and treat you like a princess. If honestly that is the case - move on!

The second reason could be that you are not behaving in a way that gives him the opportunity to act the way you would like. If a man is crazy about you he will spontaniously ask you out, organize things, arrange time together, ask you to move in with him, marry you and have babies with you (if thats humanly posssible!). Now if you are doing all the doing, making all the running, taking charge and telling him what to do he will definitely move away from you and do the opposite. The other habit that women run is to be needy and so a 'bit of a nightmare' as men would put it. Both of these patterns will cause him to look elsewhere for something to meet his needs. This could be a different woman but it also could be work, sport, television or the computer.

So whats the truth?

Has he ever really acted as if he's crazy about you? If so ask yourself the question how have I behaved to change things? If the answer is no he has never acted that way my hallucination is that, if you are in a relationship with him, that it is a relationship of convenience. Those kind of relationships will never meet either of your real needs, they tend to just meet the 'practical needs'. And why would you settle for that?

Last point, maybe you are not 'crazy about you' either? If you are negative, unhappy, stressed or just plain 'in a funk', no man is going to be 'crazy about you'.

There is no great red blooded, masculine man out there who wants to be with a woman that doesn't love life and feel good about herself!

So now you know what you need to do! And have I once mentioned what to wear or what to say? No!

Healthy happy, masculine men go crazy for healthy, happy, feminine women...

Go figure as they say in the states!

Let me know what you think about this....

Love, Nicki Vee x

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

You can view our videos on any of the following links... Have Fun...

YouTube, Yahoo, MySpace, Metacafe, Google, Revver, DailyMotion, Veoh, Sclipo and Howcast

Girls - Are You Ruining Your New Relationship? Your Blog Coach x

2008-06-20T21:10:00.003+02:00

I have done two sessions today with two fabulous women both whom have been found by their 'Knight in Shining Armor' and where he has popped the question. They both told me how masculine and great he is and they both admitted to wanting to stay in control. And why, you are probably asking, would they do that when they know it is the No 1. thing that men hate!

A couple of reasons reared their ugly heads:-

Firstly, she believes its putting him too much under pressure. I do hope some of the men who are reading this will write in or add a comment to this blog to remind all women that men are not broken, they do not need protecting from problems and that actually they are 'solution machines' who can handle whatever you throw at them!

Secondly, she wants to retain control of something in case he screws up. In case he doesn't do it the way she would do it and in case that means she is left with nothing to 'worry about' or be responsible for! Again any red blooded male will tell you that he can sense you 'thinking, worrying and being responsible'. He can smell it if you don't trust him and he can feel it if you don't agree with his methods. And a question to you my fabulous feminine girlfriends - why would you want to have something to be responsible for or to worry about?

Most women who come to our Retreat here in Austria when they are asked to imagine a vision of their ultimate life and intimate relationship talk about being free to do what they love doing, they describe a man who protects them and who is a strong man who knows where he's going and knows what he's doing and they talk about feeling relaxed and calm. Not one of them has said I want to have to decide how to make enough money, I want him to come to me to sort out the problems, I want to have issues to worry about and to feel stressed and uncertain about him!

So why would these two fabulous women be doing this and frankly why would they ruin something that seemed to be their dream?

There is only one answer - HABIT.

We girls have been so programmed to be responsible, independent, strong and solution focused that we find it so difficult to let go and trust a man. Even though thats what we really want.

So the great thing about our coaching sessions was that I had the time to ask them some great questions like, how do you think he feels when you tell him that its ok you will make the arrangements/ sort it out/ solve the problem/make the decision? The answer is he feels redundant/ not trusted/ less than/ and worst of all that you don't need looking after. And that is what you desire, yearn for and deserve! A man to take care of you, protect you and cherish you and guess what if you are doing that for yourself he has no job.

So I hear you ask how do I break this habit? Well I said to these two women what would be the opposite of this behaviour? What do you know works that makes a man feel great, ready to take on the world including your problem!

They both knew the answers:-

So here are the answers, the 5 things, we call them the 5 A's, that will give you the life you want and will cause your relationship to be not just great but passionate, amazing, intimate and deeply 'in connection'.

Acknowledge Him. I know you have heard this before but are you doing it? And I don't just mean thanks for picking the kids/shopping/ dry cleaning up; I mean acknowledge how he handles arrangements/ a crisis/his business challenges/ his mother/ the burst pipe/you when you are difficult! Anything that makes him feel like he is fantastic and that you look up to him. (I always find that comparing him to all other men, favorably of course, works even better!)
Appreciate Him. Gratitude for the way he makes you feel will make him feel like a king amongst men. And I don't mean practical things like he makes you feel less stressed because he sorts your car out I mean you tell him he makes you feel like a princess, cherished like no other woman, special because you are his woman, fluttery when he walks through the door like a teenager, wobbly when he kisses you etc etc.
Adore Him. It is actually proven that when men are little boys they react most positively when a woman makes him feel like he is the best at what he does, when she 'puts him on a pedestal' and that is what he wants to have replicated in his adult intimate relationships. And if the truth is you don't really think he's worthy of a pedestal I have a question for you - what the hell are you doing staying with him? or are you just hyper critical and he just can't win with you? Whats the truth?
Admire Him. Much the same as Adore but slightly different, this is all about trusting him to handle everything, take notice of what he does well not what he doesn't, what you focus on you will get more of.... what are you most proud of about him? when did you last tell him that?
Ask Him Questions? Yes ask him for help.... after acknowledging, appreciating, adoring and admiring him like crazy give him all your problems! Yes, I mean it! You, I guarantee, will see a different man show up because he feels like you believe that he can handle any problem and that you trust him to do it! You see if he feels you trusting him he believes he can handle it. Men are very simple creatures they just want us to trust them and of course the other biggy is they just want us to be happy!

So, got it? So last question, on a scale of 0 - 10, 0 being you don't trust your man at all and you feel you need to control everything in order to feel safe and 10 is you know he is your rock and you trust him completely and you have mastered (or mistressed!) completely letting go and all the 5 A's where are you?

Wherever your score (unless you are a 10 in which case congratulations, I expect your relationship is at a 10 too) the next question is of course what needs to happen to get you to a 10?

My guess is the answer is in Trusting, Letting Go and Loads of Love.......

If you want to get even more info about how to make sure your new relationship (or your old one for that matter!) is as fabulous as you want it to be.....click here to go to our homepage on http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ and click on The 7 Big Relationship Mistakes and this will give you our new f*ree complimentary report and will also tell you how to get our new product the 9 DVD set 'The 7 Big Relationship Solutions'.

Love, Nicki Vee x

Your Blog Coach x

The Biggest Relationship Destroying Pattern.

2008-06-20T18:44:00.004+02:00

If I had to name one thing that's running rampant, like a silent killer, through modern intimate relationships, I would name a specific learned human behaviour. This is not something inherent in all humans, it’s something we learn unconsciously and then we pass it on like the plague. We not only pass it down the line, father to son and mother to daughter, but we cross pollinate it as well. In fact society is so stricken with this debilitating behaviour that we even catch it through friends, teachers and by watching television. In fact nearly all of us have caught this epidemic and most of us don’t even realise it.

So what is this mystery killer of our relationship lives? When you see what it is, you won't think you have it and I can practically guarantee that you absolutely do. Some people will be infected more than others, with some it will more subtle and more difficult to spot, and with others it will be like a rampant cancer, clear for all to see.

So what is it?

It is the PATTERN OF BEING A VICTIM.

Here’s how it all works: Imagine that instead of there being one of you in your body there are in fact two. Look at it like this, if your name is Bob, for example, there is a 'Red Bob' and there is a 'Green Bob'. You, of course, just see yourself as plain old Bob, completely unaware that there are actually two of you sharing your body. Now these two Bob’s, resonate at different frequencies, as if they are two radio stations. 'Red Bob' gives off a frequency of 95.8FM and 'Green Bob' give off a frequency of 106.2FM. Now, what Bob simply does not realise is that he has a choice, in other words he can choose which Bob he is, either 'Red' or 'Green'. So, what's the difference between your 'Red' choice and your 'Green' choice?

Given the following choice, which would you choose?

'Red Bob' is stressed, he's not happy, life's not easy, his job, his finances and his relationships with family, spouse, children, well it's all a bit of a struggle, he’s always trying to get more, do more, have more things, yet there never seems enough time in the day, there’s always something that he needs to change. Bob also, throughout his life, has had things he's addicted to at some time or other, he smokes, he drinks, he's taken drugs, he’s often eaten too much and he's always wanting sex! It seems there is always something he's obsessed with doing. And all he really wants is that good feeling, yes that feeling he never seems to find, it seems like as he moves closer to it somehow it moves away from him, always just out of reach.

Now, 'Green Bob' he's a happy soul, his life is just perfect as it is, he feels abundant, joyous and he feels loved and loving, he has all he needs, no more no less, he's relaxed and he has a beautiful love filled intimate relationship, his children are never a challenge, nor are his other family members who he loves and respects just as they are. Life is easy, life is good, he loves what he does and enjoys every moment of every day, in effect he has it all, health, wealth and that ultimate good feeling of happiness and fulfilment.

So which Bob are you more like? Well incredibly, it's said that for every 100 humans alive on the planet today, 96 live a life similar to 'Red Bob' and only 4% have an experience like 'Green Bob'. Now why is that and surly if we have a choice we would all choose to have 'Green Bob's life?

So tell the truth - Are you inside your body looking out at a world that's doing things to you and giving you experiences and circumstances to deal with, many you would not choose to have? This is 'Red Bob's' world, the world of 'THE VICTIM', in other words, you believe life is happening to you from outside of yourself, you are simply at the 'effect' of life.

Now victims are complex creatures and they fall into two main categories. Some victims will tell you all about what's happening 'To Them', and if you listen closely you will hear them loud and clear. They will tell you stories of their ‘lot’ in life and notice that it's always happening to them, it's never their fault. The second type of victim tends to be quieter, more internal in an unhealthy way, they take responsibility for all their problems, they sit on a pity pot and are just plain miserable and of course it's their fault and they are trying everything but it simply isn’t working and everything is bad, but there’s nothing else they can do about it.

So could it be true 96% of the human population run some sort of victim pattern? Absolutely! So if that's true, what would be the opposite? What can we do differently?

So if it is true that we can choose our experiences, how would you start to have 'Green Bob's' life? Well firstly, you would have to really want it to be different and you would have to believe it is possible! Most of us have to suffer enough before we get to the point of taking action and we have to properly decide to take action to experience a different result!

So, I hear you ask, then what would be my next step? Well remember this is a journey. The truth is you have it all now, it's just you don't see it, you have to discover it. So the next step is the same as all the steps, its awareness, awareness and even more awareness. Yes, awareness of what's the truth, what's real and what's not.

It's about becoming conscious in every moment, 'Red Bob' is operating through his unconscious, so he is totally unaware. Recognise that you may be unconsciously incompetent, that means you don't realise what's happening and you don’t know what you don’t know! Awareness will bring you into consciousness. In other words, you see life with new eyes, see what other don't see, see it from a different perspective, see that you could choose a different experience. So then you will become consciously incompetent – now you know what you don’t know and what you are doing that's not working! Now you can see what you need to change. The next steps are easy.

When you become consciously competent – that is you know what you need to do differently and you start to do it as often as possible - you will start to get different results and references that 'this shit works'! and then lastly unconsciously competent – now you automatically do the things that get you the results you want.

So are you going to stay in VICTIM? With everything happening to you? Or are you going to decide now to take action and become master (or mistress) of your life?

It's your choice.

Tony Vee

www.tonyandnickivee.com

www.utube.com/tonyandnicki

How To Be The Perfect Woman In Bed & Have Him Do What You Want!

2008-06-17T17:18:00.006+02:00

So here's the thing - most women that come to me for help on their sex lives are talking about all the things he doesn't do. So why doesn't he do what you want?

There are probably 3 good reasons:-

He doesn't feel like it - and that could be because of the way you talk to him inside and outside the bedroom.
You are 'doing things' that make it difficult for him to be attracted to you - This most commonly is about you 'taking the lead'.
He doesn't feel good about himself - this may be nothing to do with you but/and it could be!

So here are the Top 10 Don'ts for a woman - which if you stop doing them I can guarantee you will get the results you want.

Don't decide when to have sex - just get on with your life and wait..

Don't take the lead - this may seem alien to you but leading doesn't work..

Don't stay in your head - stop thinking and you will feel what he does to you..

Don't nag him about sex - stop questioning about no sex or too much sex etc..

Don't try and turn him on - if you do it will all be over quick

Don't focus on your orgasm - you may as well have an orgasm on your own

Don't visualise other men - he will be able to tell

Don't tell him what to do - he will decide what works, you just need to let him

Don't confuse sex with love - him having sex with you is not what you want

Don't try to control everything - trust your man or get out of the relationship

So how many of those don'ts do you do? Tell yourself the truth - every woman and man wants an experience in the bedroom that is loving and giving not what we call 'sexual athletics'

So the Do's:-

Do give your man time and space to make decisions for you both, in life and in the bedroom

Do tell him what you want intimately in a non demanding way

Do get yourself in a calm, loving state so that your man will be drawn to make love to you

Do relax and let him lead you in the bedroom and during sex

Do keep quiet and still so that he can guide you to a healthy beautiful orgasm

Do tell him how much you love what he does, again inside and outside the bedroom

Do look up to him, literally, you being on top is a bad sign!

Do be feminine; this is soft, gentle, allowing and trusting

Do let go, being tense will give you a sexual experience instead of a loving one

Do keep your attention on your man, not the kids, not the shopping or work!

So there you go, in my own experience I did all the don'ts in my former relationships and the results I got were either no sex or lots of unhealthy sex which I did not feel good about. Since being with Tony I have learnt exactly what works for me and him and have done the Do's most of the time which has given us a beautiful and long lasting making love life!

Do you want more information? Tony & I are covering the Do's and Don'ts for men and women in more detail over the next 4 TNTV videos. See us now on www.youtube.com/tonyandnicki

Or if you want to talk to us personally and privately email us on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Love, Nicki Vee x

The Love, Sex & Intimacy Quiz – Ten Questions To Identify Where Your Love Life Is!

2008-06-16T12:15:00.005+02:00

When it comes down to it, the facts are, in today’s world, many people’s intimate relationship lives are not giving them the pleasure they seek. The reasons are complex and numerous of course, yet at the top of the list of fundamentals is the basic fact that our knowledge and understanding of how to live in a fantastic intimate relationship is minimal.

In this world, where education is seen as the key to having a great life the subject of intimate relationships seems to have been forgotten when it came to deciding the subjects on the curriculum. Yes, just because you are as sharp as a cat, or as wise as an owl, or even if you have a filing cabinet of a brain, intellect does not guarantee that you will experience love, sex and intimacy the way you really want to.

A quick look at the western world divorce stats reveals the true disaster that is overwhelming modern relationships. And if you really want a jolt, know that swapping relationships does not work either. The second marriage divorce stats are floating around the 75% failure rate! So why would that be? Could it be we jump ship to a new and exciting relationship primarily for better intimacy and sex? When in reality we are going from the fire to the frying pan! Because the real reason it all did not go the way we wanted in the first place is a blatant lack of knowledge and understanding of our own needs and the needs of our partner.

An even more scary thought is that many people find it easier to go to a lawyer than ask for professional help! Or they simply ask their friends and family for advice, when to be honest for the most part they know no better. So what is the answer to the demise of modern relationships? Well if you go to a real estate agent and ask ‘what’s the most important thing about a house', they would say, location, location, location. Play that against intimate relationships and you would say education, education, education.

So where do you start? Well the first thing to do is find out where you are now, what do you know, what are you great at and what are you doing less well. Also knowing clearly what you want is paramount. Then it’s simple, if you know where you are and you know where you want to go, you just need a plan of how to get from A to B.
The purpose of this article is to help you identify where you are now, below is a series of 10 questions, 10 for singles and 10 for those in a relationship. Just score yourself on a scale of 0 – 10 for each question and add up your score. If you don’t understand the question, best give yourself 0 for that question.

The scoring system is simple, if you score between 0 – 69 you are in danger of having bad relationship experiences until you take some action and get properly educated. If you score between 70 -89, you're doing ‘OK’, no doubt things could be better. Home in on your weak points and get professional help. If you score 90 or more, congratulations, seems you have it licked and are likely to be having a pretty good experience; however complacency is not to be overlooked, keep finding ways to experience the very best for you both.

Tony & Nicki Vee
http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
www.youtube.com/tonyandnicki

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Love Sex & Intimacy Quiz – I’m Single

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Question 1.
I WOULD CURRENTLY SCORE MY OWN LIFE, ON A SCALE OF 0 – 10, AT A…?

Assess the ANSWER to this QUESTION by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘ITS CRAP’ and 10 being ‘ITS FANTASTIC’

Question 2.
I KNOW THAT I AM LIVING IN MY TRUE MALE/FEMALE ENERGY…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘NOT AT ALL’ and 10 being ‘COMPLETELY’

Question 3.
THE TRUTH IS I AM ADDICTED TO SEX OR RELATIONSHIPS…

Firstly CHOOSE ONE OF THESE (sex or relationships) and then give yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘ ITS TRUE I’M ADDICTED’ AND 10 BEING ‘NOT ADDICTED AT ALL’

Question 4.
I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OPPOSITE SEX REALLY WANTS…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘NOT AT ALL’ and 10 being ‘COMPLETELY’

Question 5.
I CAN CLEARLY SEE HOW MY BEHAVIOUR NEGATIVELY AFFECTED MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘CANNOT SEE IT AT ALL’ and 10 being ‘CAN SEE IT VERY CLEARLY’

Question 6.
I BELIEVE I KNOW HOW TO CONSISTENTLY EXPERIENCE A FULFILLING ‘SEX LIFE

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘VERY LOW LEVEL OF BELIEF’ and 10 being ‘VERY HIGH LEVEL OF BELIEF’

Question 7.
I’M ABLE TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT KIND OF MAN/WOMAN FOR ME…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘NEVER ABLE’ and 10 being ‘ALWAYS ABLE’

Question 8.
I FIND THE DATING GAME DIFFICULT AND FRAUGHT WITH PROBLEMS…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘ALWAYS’ and 10 being ‘NEVER’

Question 9.
I BELIEVE THAT I HAVE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT ‘LOVE’ REALLY MEANS…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘VERY LOW LEVEL OF BELIEF’ and 10 being ‘VERY HIGH LEVEL OF BELIEF’

Question 10.
HOW HAVE YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS ENDED?

Assess the ANSWER to this QUESTION by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘VERY PAINFULLY’ and 10 being ‘AMICABLY’

What's Your Total Score
Danger 0 - 69 Caution 70 - 89 Doing Great 90+

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Love Sex & Intimacy Quiz - I’m In A Relationship

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Question 1.
I WOULD CURRENTLY SCORE MY OWN LIFE, ON A SCALE OF 0 – 10, AT A…?

Assess the ANSWER to this QUESTION by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘ITS CRAP’ and 10 being ‘ITS FANTASTIC’

Question 2.
I KNOW THAT I AM LIVING IN MY TRUE MALE/FEMALE ENERGY

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘NOT AT ALL’ and 10 being ‘COMPLETELY’

Question 3.
I THINK ABOUT LEAVING THIS RELATIONSHIP…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘CONSTANTLY’ and 10 being ‘NEVER’

Question 4.
I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OPPOSITE SEX REALLY WANTS…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘NOT AT ALL’ and 10 being ‘COMPLETELY’

Question 5.
HOW MUCH DO YOU ARGUE?

Assess the ANSWER to this QUESTION by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘ALL THE TIME’ and 10 being ‘NEVER’

Question 6.
I CAN CLEARLY SEE HOW MY BEHAVIOUR NEGATIVELY AFFECTS MY RELATIONSHIP….

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘CANNOT SEE IT AT ALL’ and 10 being ‘CAN SEE IT VERY CLEARLY’

Question 7.
THE TRUTH IS WE LEAD SEPARATE LIVES AND DON’T SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER …

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘TOTALLY TRUE’ and 10 being ‘NOT TRUE AT ALL’

Question 8.
I BELIEVE I KNOW HOW TO CONSISTENTLY EXPERIENCE A FULFILLING ‘SEX LIFE’…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘VERY LOW LEVEL OF BELIEF’ and 10 being ‘VERY HIGH LEVEL OF BELIEF’

Question 9.
I HAVE BEEN UNFAITHFUL (PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY)…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘MANY TIMES’ and 10 being ‘NEVER’

Question 10.
I BELIEVE THAT I HAVE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT ‘LOVE’ REALLY MEANS…

Assess the LEVEL OF TRUTH OF THIS STATEMENT by giving yourself a score between 0 and 10, 0 being ‘VERY LOW LEVEL OF BELIEF’ and 10 being ‘VERY HIGH LEVEL OF BELIEF’

What's Your Total Score
Danger 0 - 69 Caution 70 - 89 Doing Great 90+

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If you are looking for a way to get you score higher please contact us at
tnv@tonyandnickivee.com
www.tonyandnickivee.com
www.youtube.com/tonyandnicki

How To Be The Perfect Man In Bed...

2008-06-14T11:24:00.004+02:00

We all want a great experience in the bedroom, don't we?! And the truth is no one taught us the 'How'! It seems we were left to our own devises to work it all out and...that's so often not a good way to learn any subject let alone love, sex and intimacy. No wonder the divorce rate is so high and no wonder the amount of infidelity is sky high.

The first thing, if you really want to get this area of your life to be the best it can be, is to score yourself! Yes, what's the truth, how good are you in the bedroom? Use a scale from 0 - 10. If you score yourself 0 this means you believe you are totally crap in bed and if you score yourself 10, you believe you are masterful.

So what did you score?

Now here's the thing, being masterful in bed would start by understanding a woman’s, and in particular your woman’s, needs completely. Because being fantastic in bed is not all about you, it's about a shared experience. Now it goes without saying all men want to be fantastic in bed, so here is a list of do's and don'ts to make it real simple to get you started.

The Don't Evers That Turn Women Off...

Don't try to have sex just because you need it
Don't plead for or ask permission for sex
Don't focus only on what you want
Don't focus on your own orgasm
Don't have it all over in 3 minutes
Don't just make it a sexual experience
Don't just turn over and go to sleep afterwards
Don't just leave it all to her
Don't visualise other women
Don't just do it occasionally

Do these and you woman will want more...

Do take control of time, place and environment
Do be romantic, kind, and caring towards her
Do be the leader, the real man she wants
Do kiss her - a lot!
Do talk to her, tell her everything you love about her
Do take your time
Do focus on her all the time
Do help her to relax and let go
Do remain none sexual for best results
Do synchronise your breathing

Use the above lists like a check list, tick which of the 'Don't list' you do and which on the 'Do's list' you do, this will give you a real idea of the score you should be giving yourself.

Now utilise the 'Do list' to start to change things around and get better results. And if you get expert in all of the ten Do's and forget all of the 10 Don'ts, it will be akin in bed to 'lighting the touch paper and standing back to watch the fireworks'....

Most of all make it fun....
Happy Lovemaking

Tony Vee

PS. If you need help in your intimate life, man or woman, you know where to come, no pun intended, we are here to help! Couples that have been struggling with little or no intimacy have, whilst learning our philosophy, ended up like young lovers again.

PPS. You can get our book 'Multiple Orgasms with Ease & Elegance' on Amazon or direct from Trafford the publisher for a faster service.

I want The Book From Amazon
I Want The Book Direct From The Publisher (for a faster service)
http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/
http://youtube.com/tonyandnicki

What's Happening In The Bedroom? - Your Blog Coach x

2008-06-12T19:39:00.003+02:00

One of Tony & my favourite sayings is, " whatever happens outside the bedroom will happen inside the bedroom"... not surprisingly most couples (and singles) find it difficult to talk about their 'intimate' life and so I thought it might be interesting and helpful to share with you part of a coaching session I did today.....

My client was firstly sharing how she and her partner had had an almighty row about money and how she had found herself feeling very uncertain about the future. They had disconnected massively because she had expressed her fears and he had felt that she didn't trust him to handle things. This is one of the most common reasons why couples disconnect. Its never going to be about 'the money' or 'the kids' or 'the driving' its always going to be about their underlying fears that cause all men and women to behave in a certain way - and its probably going to be how they always react, their individual patterns of behaviour.

This couple seems to have done pretty well because as I asked her she seemed very aware of her patterns of behaviour when stressed or uncertainin and she seemed to have also got herself in a good place after the bust up. It sounded as if he had too. Within only a few hours they had been able to 'talk' very openly about what had happened and how they felt and had used our 'what I learnt about me' tool to great effect.

So what is your pattern of behaviour when stressed or uncertain? Think about it for a moment, what do you do? what do you say? And what do you do to get yourself back in a good place?

If you cannot see your patterns and don't know what to do, talk to us now and we will recommend a product or coach or event that could help... tonyandnicki@tonyandnickivee.com

So, I hear you ask, what has all this got to do with the bedroom?

Well what was fascinating about this client was that then she went on to ask about the bedroom. She was explaining what the disconnect was there too. And low and behold guess what the challenge was? She quickly noticed that she goes into a place of uncertainty and he... well my hallucination is that he doesn't feel trusted to handle things! Sound familiar?

What is so common for women is that we have been so programmed and so used to 'needing to know what is going to happen' that inside or outside of the bedroom we tend to like to be 'in control'. This is suicide for intimacy and will only appeal to that very unusual group of men who actually like a woman to be 'dominant'!

And here's the really scary thing - your partner can tell what is going on for you!

What do I mean by that? well men can tell when a woman is 'trying to control in order to feel safe or certain' and women can tell if a man is not 'certain about himself' or is 'not knowing what to do'.

So what I said to this woman is that you need to do what you did so well 'outside the bedroom'. You need to realise your patterns and get yourself in a good state so that you are not stressed, 'in your head' or nervous AND here's the biggy... tell him the truth about how you are feeling.

My guess is that she will get the same great result that she is getting 'outside'... I'll let you know.

So notice how your patterns are the same in life and in intimacy and if you would like to chat through this personally and privately with either Tony or I, or both of us, please feel free to contact us on our private email... tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Nicki Vee

Your Blog Coach x

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Why Women Don't Trust Men

2008-06-10T07:29:00.005+02:00

A woman that does not trust her man. This is the biggest challenge men face in their intimate relationships. Often confused and worn down by this phenomenon, men most commonly move away from a woman that does not trust them. Their favourite escapes are the golf course, other chosen sporting activities or the pub. Anywhere to be with other men, often to consume alcohol so that they feel some relief from the pressure. Some men surprisingly move towards other women, this of course, is the very thing his woman fears.

So whose fault is it? Is it her for not trusting in the first place? Or his because he is not trustworthy? The truth is probably both and if I had to sway one side, I say it starts with the men. No! I hear the men shout, why my fault? Well here's the thing, if you don't want your woman 'playing up', nagging you all the time and driving you nuts, you need to understand what she needs! And that's not changing that light bulb that's been out for ages that she persistently goes on and on about...

You see, women have what we call 'core needs'. These are needs of the feminine part of her and incidentally nothing to do with what she is nagging you about. What all, and I mean all women are looking for, even if they say they are not, is a strong man! Yes innate to the human female is her inner unconscious need to feel safe and protected by a man. Now, originally, like many other animals on the planet this was definitely the job of the male. Interestingly as the human mind has evolved we seem to have forgotten this innate need, well at least logically. Feminism and equality, whilst seemingly a logical and intelligent way forward, has forgotten that underlying that left brain logic is a deep programmed yet forgotten human need. Yes, inside each and every female there is an ancient creature, whose needs must be catered for and if they're not, trouble abounds.

Look at it like this, the ancient part of a woman that needs to feel safe and protected, is looking to her man to perform this task. Now if the man shows up short on this, what she does most commonly is to 'protect herself'. Now there are many different styles that have evolved to achieve this 'self preservation', the most common, is to take charge herself, be the boss or the matriarch! And this will include telling her man what to do or at minimum making helpful suggestions. Other women will go more passive, consistently playing the guilt or victim card, "you never do anything for me" type stuff. The challenge is that these strategies have a very negative effect on men. Men in turn, depending on the man, will respond in different ways. Some will move away to escape, looking externally for his needs to be met, some may even get aggressive verbally or even physically. Others will go passive, more internal, shutting down and go for the easy, quiet life and accept her taking charge or telling him what to do.

The thing most women don't understand is that all men, and I mean all men, if they were to tell women the truth, absolutely hate a woman telling them what to do, yes, we hate it with a vengeance!

So what's to be done? Well if men are to go first, the missing ingredient is for a man to be certain in himself. A man that knows where he is going is fearless, on his purpose and strong; yet also caring, kind and loving to his woman. The truth is that men with these qualities are rare in today’s world hence women take charge because, in so many relationships, the women is more certain than her man. These reversed role relationships are all doomed to failure at some level. Most will end up in the divorce courts if they married, many will have infidelity and none will experience that deep sense of love and passion that we all desire to have in our lives, inside and outside of the bedroom.

As for women what can they do for their part? Well, they could learn new strategies that empower their man, strategies that include acknowledging his achievements, showing appreciation for what he does and communicating her positive feelings towards him. This may seem madness if he isn't showing up at present in a great way, but, magically, if women use these techniques men grow in stature, become more 'present' and are drawn to spend more intimate time.

If you have any difficulties, men or women, do ask us for help and we'll give you more details of our strategies and techniques. I know you will be truly amazed at the results.

Tony Vee

PS. Nicki and I teach singles and couples how to get it right. We teach men how to be real men and women how to be their real feminine self, not some archetype 'Barbie Doll' - a real woman. If you need help because you keep getting results less than you really desire feel free to contact us.

tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

www.youtube.com/tonyandnicki

Jealousy - A Big Issue - Your Blog Coach x

2008-06-07T16:15:00.003+02:00

I thought you may be interested in a coaching session I did yesterday about the issue of jealousy.

I have stripped out lots that was confidential and/or may not be relevant to everyone and just left the bare bones. If this issue is prevalent in your relationship either because you or your partner are jealous some of these questions and this philosophy may help - it certainly helped this woman whose relationship was being destroyed by her partners jealousy.

Firstly she asked me a question - what is jealousy? - I don't understand it even!

I explained my beliefs about it - ok I believe its just a pattern of behaviour and thoughts that only happens in someone who doesn't feel good enough about him/herself and doesn't believe that they are totally lovable....
If you are jealous you must be believing that someone else is more blessed than you or that they are somehow better than you....my guess is that you (or whoever) has no clue as to what the person who you are jealous of is really experiencing too...

She explained - My boyfriend has a real challenge with my male friends and sees them all as a threat, if i get a text with a x on the end then it creates a problem...

I asked - is his jealousy justified by how you talk to other men? If you are too intimate it may be that he has a point! If its just natural, healthy connection then the last thing you want to do is 'change' to stop his jealousy... because its not good to re- inforce this behaviour...or you will be on egg shells all your life with him...if you 'change' to stop his 'irrational fear' you are 'giving into it' and you will always have to 'be careful' around this man...

And bluntly if he runs jealousy (for no good reason) thats his shit...and if you try to stop it happening you are not being you...so the relationship is not based on truth and it is unlikely to last!

She sighed and said - no i'm not...being me..

I applauded her realisation and said - good, so what would you say to him now if you speaking your whole truth? because if he can't handle YOU....the real you... could it be that he isn't the right man for you?...you see when you are you he has 2 choices - handle it or not? of course if you are frightened of loosing him....

She hesitated and said .... mmm maybe I am...

I carried on to encourage her to go inside for the real truth about this situation... and asked her - Could it be that he isn't being the real him as well? so far you may only know 'the him in fear'.... are you prepared to committ to a long term relationship with someone who is fearful? Jealousy is fear by the way... and just whilst we're delving - were your previous relationships jealous?

She gasped....Yes, both were and the 2 before them!

So its your pattern too honey.... if he does jealousy and anger what are you doing?

She thought for a moment and then said - I venture into the world of passive, keep my mouth shut and hope it won't last long - doesn't sound good does it?

I asked Tony what makes a man do jealousy? he explained - if a man is jealous he feels insecure about himself and is afraid of loosing you... that is not healthy... its all low energy and from fear... notice that anger and passive behaviour is all the same it just looks different... fear of loosing is attachment and will just cause more fear...and you see walking on egg shells is worrying how he will react all the time....

I asked her - have you thought about the affect of this on the kids? I bet you think they don't know whats going on yes?

She replied - Ouch!

Because could it be that they can feel the low energy in the house and in you?and do you know that ALL KIDS copy you in energy and behaviour...they pick up everything, even what you are not telling them...

I asked her - so what are you going to do?

She said - Be me......

and if he doesn't like the friendly slightly flirty you who is good with x's on her texts?

She admitted - Not sure....

So what kind of person stays in a relationship like that? And what kind of person who knows this is messing up their kids carries on? something to think about...but do you want the good news?

She said, of course, - Yes Please!!

You could solve this easily...if you just don't 'get got' by his jealousy...don't react to it in any way...tell him you are going to be you and that if he doesn't like your behaviour well maybe he needs to find someone else.... and mean it... but to do that you would have to NOT be afraid of loosing him... you see you have to set your boundaries or you will constantly be 'walking on egg shells'

She positively yelped.... Ok I've got it! I can't change him but I can be me - the person he fell in love with funnily enough!!!

Yes all you have to do is be you and NOT IN FEAR, that would mean telling him all your truth and not changing if he gets angry or jealous or anything....I cannot tell you how fabulous it is to be with a man who is completely certain in himself and to feel that I can be the whole of me warts and all....

the worst that can happen is that he is not the man for you because he is too in fear... and so you will be saved from a lifetime of well... shit!! and so will your kids....only time will tell as to whether he can handle the real you and your 'healthy' needs, my guess is you will find out pretty quick…. lots of love and keep me posted!

I trust this has been helpful to anyone suffering from jealousy....

Nicki Vee
Your Blog Coach x

P.S. Want someone to ask you questions on your issue? Or want to understand the opposite sex more? - Contact us and we will recommend the perfect coach for you.... tnv@tonyandnickivee.com or go to http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/ for our products.

From Unconscious To A Conscious Relationship

2008-06-05T20:14:00.004+02:00

In my past relationships I was often so frustrated with my partner she never seemed to want to do things the way I wanted to do them, she always wanted things to go her way - have you ever experienced that?

Oh my, the pain, the anguish; in the end I gave up and just did it all her way, well no doubt I had the odd moment of doing it my way. What of course I now so understand and blatantly did not understand then was that both of us were operating unconsciously. Now, I here you say, what does that mean? Well one of the most simple ways to put it is, we were both like horses with blinkers on. We were seeing only a portion of what life has to offer and arguing that the way we individually saw things was the right way and in many cases we believed ‘the only way’.

All that happened to me, my epiphany moment, was I metaphorically took my blinkers off and became AWARE for the first time of the endless possibilities our lives offer us; instead of my believing my own narrow blinkered view being the only way to see things.

This awareness is tantamount to raising your level of consciousness and when you do that you see things with a totally new perspective and get a different experience, as do other from you, it's actually like magic. I can now look back and see everything as clear as if I had had cataracts removed from my eyes.

So how can we all experience a greater level of consciousness in our relationships? Well a great place to start is to become aware of what you do and say, the way you do and say it and the effect it has on others. See with open eyes how what you do affects others, do other people consistently move towards you? Do they want to share time with you and be loving to you? If not, the most likely reason is because you are not acting that way yourself. If you are really open to this it will start to raise your awareness and the more conscious you are of your patterns of language and behaviour the more you will see how this will have a direct affect on the experience you are having.

Have fun becoming aware, and remember, the more love you feel and the more love you share and give to others the more your own cup will overflow.

Sharing Love

Tony Vee

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Eat Your Way To Passion! - Your Blog Coach x

2008-06-03T20:53:00.003+02:00

Something has happened to Tony and my relationship in the past few weeks and it has made it even better!

Could the unusual step we have taken, that is not normally associated with finding or improving intimate relationships be the very thing that will help you?

So what is it? well it's about eating!!

We made a decision 3 weeks ago that we would have more energy, feel fitter, get less tired, be there more for our family, friends and customers IF we ate healthier food. What we didn't expect was the massive impact it has had on our connection, polarity and intimacy!

Its seems like because we are in even better energy each day that it is easier to meet each others needs, easier to stay connected when challenges come up and it feels like we are more in sinc... can't explain why that is but it feels fantastic!

So my belief is that it is critical to a healthy passionate relationship!

And that applies whether you are 'in selection mode' or have been married 35 years!

So think about it... could what you eat (and drink) have a direct link to the level of passion and intimacy in your life?

We are certain it does....

So if you now want to change your eating and drinking habits and get some real passion in your life here are some questions/tips/hints from your Blog Coach....

My favourite, simplest way to decide what to eat that I heard from the fabulous Louise Hay years ago is:- "Will this Cleanse me or Clog me?"
If you feel drawn to unhealthy food (this is usually because we become addicted to it in some way) Ask yourself the question, ' What is making me eat this now? is it for comfort? is it just a habit? is it for connection? is it a treat? what need is it meeting? what could I do differently?
Tony always talks about our addiction to sugar - he says it is 'just your bugs'! yes its a fact if we eat food containing sugar (which is nearly all processed foods nowadays) we have bugs living inside us that feed off more sugar so its not you that craves it its your bugs... (nice thought!)
Final question - What would your life be like if you had more energy? What would you do differently? Who might you attract? What might come into your life that you never thought possible?

So, I wish for you the kind of relationship that we are enjoying each and every day....

If you want assistance with your eating habits or any other habits for that matter! please do contact us, Tony and I are happy to have a private chat.

Love Nicki Vee x

P.S. Contact us on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com or on 0043 2758 5005

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Investing In Your Most Important Asset - YOU!!!

2008-06-03T17:33:00.005+02:00

Remember that famous saying 'When the going gets tough, the tough get going'... Yes when companies get pushed for cash and times are hard, the ones that survive INVEST. The ones that don't make it stop what their good at and focus on cutting back.

Now when tough times hit you as an individual, of course make economies, no one is saying go on a spending spree, you have to be inteligent - and inteligence includes being open to new ideas and oppotunites. The very word open says it all, if you are closed and shut off to new ideas then things are most likely to get tougher. It would be a little like a shop keeper having 'closed' on his door and half the lights off to save on electricty, how likely is it you are going to buy from him? - that's right it just makes things worse.

I say all this because today someone cancelled an event because times have got tough. The event is putting aside a week to work on his Vision & Purpose. Currently he does not have one and is and has been floudering around for years. Now is cancelling and worrying about cash going to change his life long pattern? - It's unlikly. Will dedicating a week to getting a plan for life be likley to supercharge his life so he see's the world with a new perspective? - most definitely.

So the point is 'Why put your life on hold' - oppotunities and possibilities come to those that are open to them... Which camp are you in?
Here is an excerpt from a mail I got today from a hugely successful man - it's worth a quick read...

You have probably heard the old adage, If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! This may be an old adage, but it is just as up to date today as it was in the past. People who fail to plan set themselves up for failure. When i was 20 my first head chef said to me that, If you do not plan your life, you let other people plan it. And you live someone else's dream! I realized then how significant that is, and now I realize it even more.

When I was 21 years old, I began my Master Plan for my plan for life. That head chef asked me to write a plan for one hundred years! He has passed away, but I if I could I would hug him today. He has made a significant difference in my life, a huge impact on my life, because of this Master Plan!

Tony Vee

PS. So what's your plan?

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

We All Just Wanna Have Fun - Your Blog Coach x

2008-06-02T22:08:00.006+02:00

Yes, I spoke to two people today, one man and one woman and I suddenly realised that one of the things both men and women do is take it all too seriously!

The girl I spoke to is at a great time of her life, the world is literally her oyster, she is free to go wherever she wants, do whatever she pleases and spend time with whoever she likes BUT like so many of us she didn't see it that way and so she was in worry, doubt, regret, sadness, unforgiveness and holding onto a past relationship...all this giving her emotional and physical pain....

So what happened? well after only a few questions about what this was costing her (and of course the answer was 'everything she'd ever wanted) about the signals she is giving off (this was never going to attract anyone, clients or men!) and probably most importantly the question...why would she do this to herself on a consistent basis.... (of course the answer is I have absolutely no clue) a miracle occurred!

The breakthrough happened, the sun came out and she began to laugh at herself and the state she had got herself into when she realised that she was getting something from this 'issue', she was safe in 'her problem', she knew she had become an expert at beating herself up.... and then suddenly she knew it was over and that what she really wanted was to wake up excited about life, inspired by her work, showing up as a fun person to be around, happy inside herself and who knows a new romance... soon?

But the how? simple - she realised its just about letting go, changing focus, caring for herself like at no other time in her life, surrounding herself with things she loves.... the list was endless....

So is it true that we can all have what we want? Tony & I believe the answer is, Yes definitely! if you don't take yourself too seriously, don't get wound up in your problems and you do have fun!!

So if you are in the mire, or stuck, or waking up each morning with a weight on your shoulders, in limbo, or with a gut renching pain in your stomach....

Get in touch quick... we can help... we understand AND even more importantly we will help you by asking questions that will help YOU make the changes you need to make to stop this pattern now, and to have the feelings, fun, passion and love in your life that you want and deserve.

Call us on 0043 2758 5005 or email us on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Love Nicki Vee x

Your Blog Coach

P.S. The guy I spoke to today was having a completely different experience and guess what same symptoms! stress, worry, anxiousness, sleeplessness.... so same solution.... once he understood and accepted his pattern he knew what to do! he put himself first, took action and had a long term plan.... and got an excellent result... his energy changed immediately and the effect on his woman was miraculous.... he had been making one of the 7 Big Mistakes... are you?

To find out go to http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Men - Invented To Lead

2008-06-01T13:21:00.005+02:00

This Blog is to commend a guy who, having listened to our free stuff, realised why his 15 year marriage was simply not working and why she wanted to quit! You know when you have an 'AHA' moment, one of those moments when the penny drops, well this was a massive one for this guy and one many many men could benifit from having themselves. You see, so many men are disconnected from their woman right down to the point where sex is rare to not happening at all, which believe it or not is NOT good for anyone, despite what some may think.

My commendation for this guy in particular, is that once he realised he was meant to be the leader in his failing relationship he what I call STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE and he has started the process of turning it around by asking for help and so far so good, both he and his woman are feeling better already... how cool is that?

So if you are a guy with marital challenges, feel free to ask me for help, I do have the answers that will get you fantastic results fast..

Mail me on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

Tony Vee

PS. There is no time like NOW! so as the saying goes - Just Do It!

www.tonyandnickivee.com

Whose 1st His Work Or You? Girls Its Up To You! - Your Blog Coach x

2008-05-31T17:01:00.005+02:00

Tony wrote and asked men a question... what should men put first his work or his woman? Well I'm now writing to the girls....

So if you are a woman in a relationship or a woman thinking about being in a relationship here's what you need to know!

A man, and by that I mean a real man, will find time to focus on both his work and his woman... BUT if your attention is on everything else, the kids, your work, the television, your mother, being successful etc even a real man will get tired of finding his attention ignored or even worse rejected.

So if you are feeling that you're not getting the attention you want either from your long term partner or the guy you're dating....here's what you need to do!

Give him the attention He wants...AND this will definitely look and feel different to the type of attention you want.

Just like Tony coaches men to understand what women want, we need to do the same...so here's the top 5 things all men want...

Peace and quiet!! I love the bit in Chris Rock's video where he says men just want to get in the door before we start talking to them!
Acknowledge your man for the way he has handled everything and anything... be it a problem at work, taking the kids somewhere, changing a light bulb...and even the very little things like bringing some shopping in or booking a great restaurant.
You being happy! Yes believe it or not HE is happy if you are.... unconsciouly he feels responsible even if he isn't... and the reverse applies, if you are unhappy he feels responsible too.
Caring for his individual whims.. Tony loves a tidy house, now that doesn't mean I have to do everything around the house, it just means that if I tidy up he loves it...men are that simple to please... so think about it... what could you do right now that he would love? maybe its a foot massage or his favourite meal tonight or some more peace and quiet whilst the football is on!
Being interested in his interests...this could be his work challenges, his golf game, his exercise routine, his political view, his mothers illness or his profits spreadsheet etc etc..AND this looks like Asking Him Questions and really listening, not giving him advice!!

I guarantee if you do this he will feel fantastic and will resume (or start) to give you the kind of attention you want...

Let me know how it all goes....

Nicki Vee x

Your Blog Coach

P.S. Need someone to chat to about your particular man? Need someone to help you decide whether this is the man for you or is this the relationship to stay in? Write to me and I'll recommend a fantastic coach...on tnv@tonyandnickivee.com

What’s More Important Your Woman or Your Work?

2008-05-30T08:34:00.001+02:00

Lots of men ask me the question above and it’s a great question for men. It’s said and I agree, men are only able to focus on one thing at a time, often leaving themselves with the classic dilemma thinking it’s all either black or white.

What works massively well for me is to plan my work day and plan my woman day, in other words what am I going to do today that will move my vision, my purpose and my business forward in the direction I desire and get great results for my audience and customers and what can I do to make my woman’s day a special day for us and her. All this I see as my job and when I do it well I really do have it all, a feeling of fulfillment on the business front and a woman that loves me unconditionally. All I am doing is meeting my own needs as well as meeting her needs at a very high level.

Now this is easier than it sounds, yes I take her on surprise trips, last weekend it was a surprise trip to London to see her favorite show Mama Mia, then a great restaurant and hotel, this was a two day extravaganza of surprises. Yesterday it was lots of kisses and cuddles and telling her how beautiful she is (this is easy every day as well as free). Both will get your intimate relationship unbelievable results.

My moto is - Enjoy life for you both...

Tony Vee

PS. If you’re a man and you lack ideas and inspiration of what to do to make your life and your woman’s life magic and fun, feel free to ask me for help…
http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Hot News – Tony & Nicki’s New FREE Relationship Report is Available NOW!

2008-05-29T07:36:00.000+02:00

Yes you could be reading ‘The 7 Big Relationship Mistakes’ within the next few moments...

This report has already been read by many people and the feedback has been top notch - people have been learning stuff they would never have known that has been costing them lost passion, pain and years of lost love. So why not go for it right here and now. Yes Please I WANT THE REPORT

Have a fantastic day - Tony Vee

Coaching Bought Up All Our Issues - Your Blog Coach x

2008-05-28T19:24:00.000+02:00

I was coaching one of our 'high profile' clients today and it suddenly made me realise that everyone, whether man or woman, single or in a relationship - we all have the same issue and its getting us the same results...

What do I mean, well, it seems that all the results we get whether its arguments in a relationship or not attracting who we want to attract or even poor results in business or not losing weight it's all about what state we're in, what energy we exude, what signals we give out....

And when my client, a very capable and well known inspirational speaker, realised that her intimate relationship challenges and even her business profits were all being massively affected by her energy she made some great decisions about what she is intending to eat, drink and think going forward. She could also see the incredible affect that this could have on her children of course.

Coaching is just the best job in the world! Not just because as a coach you can help people get clarity, assist them in getting to the core of the issue, push them with love and guide them to make life changing decisions that they completely know they will follow through on... it also always teaches me something for me, something about life and something about our absolutely fabulous, natural but not always healthy human patterns of behaviour!!

So my quote for today, apologies not sure who said this, "if you want to get a life, get a coach"!

Love, Nicki Vee x

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

P. S. If you want to ask either Tony or I a question, we will reply either on this blog or privately, whichever you prefer; I know that we are mainly known as 'Intimate Relationship Experts' but we are happy to answer questions on anything as ' Your Blog Coach!! (I've been called some things in my time....)

On The Edge - A Marriage Breaking Down!

2008-05-28T17:46:00.002+02:00

Just had an amazing chat with a guy whose wife wants to end their long marriage, they have three children and he did not know the best way to handle it. Luckily he found his way to one of our coaches who put him onto us and he got his hands on our free stuff.

His wife on the other hand had counselling and felt that this was not helping her situation and in many ways was making it worse. Now if we had a ‘£’ for every time we heard that we would be rich!

Interestingly after watching our DVD’s he started to realise the patterns he was running that were not working with her, i.e. pleasing and accommodating, in effect giving up his power.

Having now adapted his behaviour towards his wife utilising our philosophy, things are starting to get better between them and he is moving things forward to the point where he is prepared to get them both to our Austrian Relationship Retreat so they can really start to get things sorted. Well done that man...

I was just talking to Nicki saying how sad it is that so many people give up and get divorced when clearly there is a way we can help them sort it all out!

Tony Vee

http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/

Introduction

2008-05-28T13:12:00.000+02:00

Hi... We have created this Blog as a means of sharing information on intimate relationships. Please feel free to ask questions on any aspect of relationships from love to sex, from infidelity to marriage in fact any issue that might be challenging you and you don’t have an answer for. Remember we are here to help and don’t forget to catch our weekly videos posted on our YouTube and other video sites under tonyandnickivee... Have a fantastic day T & N

PS... Go get our 'FREE REPORT' - The 7 Big Relationship Mistakes. This report will answer many of your intimate relationship questions explaining why so many people suffer problems and pain instead of the love they so desire. This action packed report is available off the homepage at http://www.tonyandnickivee.com/